Part 2

Corrine awoke in the Neb. She struggled, and Switch and Apoc had to hold her back.

Note the replacement of Dozer with Switch. I am convinced that Dozer has been reduced to a bit character status. He drives the ship, handles the controls, and stays out of the way.

But I can't say that's a bad thing. I've made bit characters. But to reduce Dozer to that from his former position as a minor character is still wrong. I never demoted characters to ranks below them (or at least I try not to). Sure, he didn't have a huge stupendously amazing role, but it was still his.

This shames the original.

"Let go of me!" She screamed. Apoc and Switch were having difficulties controlling her now.

"Dozer, get the tranquilizer!" Switch yelled down the hatch. Dozer heard her and scrambled for the tranquilizer. Just as he was about to jab it into Shadow's neck, Neo cried out,

"Stop! You'll only hurt her!" Apoc and Switch let go of Shadow in their confusion. Shadow barreled out of the chair and into Neo's arms, where she stayed. Neo wrapped his arms around her. Shadow literally collapsed in Neo's arms. She was exhausted from fighting Apoc and Switch. Neo held her limp body and carried her to her cabin.

All this carrying and cuddling imagery is meant to be romantic. It really isn't. It's just lame.

"You alright?" He asked, as soon as he and Shadow were out of earshot of the crew. Shadow looked up at Neo.

What happened to her being unconscious?!

"I'm sorry." She whispered. She closed her eyes and slipped into a deep sleep. Neo laid her down on her bed. He sat down at in a corner of her cabin and fell asleep.

Look at this! Even though he's assumed the role of being Shadow's lapdog, he isn't even good enough for the bed or for another bunk in the room! Now Neo is being reduced to a minor character! Sin!

The next day, Shadow awoke in her cabin. Neo was sitting on a corner of her bed, watching her.

And now Neo has been fully rendered out of character. Now HE'll be the one staring at her face, her body, her ass...

"Feeling any better?" Neo asked. Shadow got to her feet, leaning on Neo for support. "I feel as though a jackhammer just got into my head." Shadow complained. Neo smiled. It was the typical reaction of any new recruit that had just gotten programs in her head. Ten straight hours. Remarkable, for someone who was not the One. [pic]

I don't actually know what that is. Maybe some vestiges of illustrations to the fairy tale or some attempt at formatting.

Neo lead Shadow out of her cabin. He took her to the mess hall, where they ate.

Boy, so exciting. Let me predict what comes next: Mouse will get his sexual line, and then Shadow will be whisked away to meet the Oracle.

"What is this?" Shadow asked curiously as Neo set a bowl of mush in front of her. Dozer looked up from his breakfast.

"That's a mix of everything the body needs."

"Not everything." Mouse retorted. "Can someone explain what is going on?" Shadow was puzzled. "It's ok. You'll understand sooner or later." Neo flashed a smile at Shadow.

'Poor, innocent Shadow. She's a part of a war and she doesn't even know it.' Neo mused, looking at Shadow, who was playing around with her food.

When you're told the truth, you surely must realize that you're in the middle of a war. How dense can a Sue get?

Just then, his thoughts were interrupted by Morpheus, who had stuck his head in and called out,

"Dozer, once you've finished eating, work on the program. I want Neo to bring Shadow to meet her."

What the program is, who knows. It has nothing to do with the hacking in procedure.

That raised a few eyebrows. "Who?" Shadow looked around at her fellow crewmembers.

"The Oracle."

"The who?" Shadow looked surprised. "The Oracle. She's very wise. She'll be able to show you the path.

Neo and company were at the "Heart O' the city hotel".

"Switch, Apoc, Cypher, and Mouse. Stay here and keep watch. Shadow, follow me." Neo instructed his fellow crewmembers. Morpheus was back at the Neb.

Morpheus isn't getting any decent Matrix time. His character has been reduced to walking around and looking enigmatic. All the things that make Morpheus really cool, like his devotion and faith to the search for the One, his inner conflicts, and his ability to scare the crap out of full-grown men is long gone.

Neo led Shadow to an apartment. Stopping outside the door, he gestured towards the door. Shadow swallowed and reached for the doorknob. Before her hand touched it, the door opened. Shadow jumped back.

"Hello, Shadow. You're right on time." A young woman smiled enigmatically. "Please, come in."

Shadow stepped through the door. Neo followed behind her.

"Are you... are you the Oracle?" Shadow asked. The young woman smiled. "I'm afraid not, child. The Oracle's inside."

Wow. Deviation from the film that is actually reasonable. That part is good.

She replied, gesturing inside the apartment. Shadow took a tentative step towards the kitchen and slipped inside. Neo sat down on the couch outside and waited.

Cypher grinned inwardly. Soon, he would hand Morpheus to the machines. But for now, he would play their game.

"So, you're Shadow. No wonder he likes you. So smart, brilliant, beautiful, and of course, with a fighting spirit.

Translation of the Oracle: Honey, you're a Mary Sue.

I like that."

Translation: I get to confuse yet another stupid character. Go me!

The Oracle turned to face Shadow. "You'll face tough times, kid.

Translation: Just wait until all those Trinity fans are through with you.

Neo's gonna need your help. It'll be hard. And don't mind about the vase." Shadow looked surprised.

Translation: Stop copying Neo!

"Which vase?"

That vase.

"That vase." The Oracle replied as the vase fell. Shadow grabbed in a swift motion and replaced it on the table. The Oracle looked mildly surprised. Shadow could see that she had not predicted this. Defying fate was something she, Shadow, reveled in.

That...is...DISGUSTING. Undermining the main characters that are supposed to be a source of inspiration is a low blow. Especially with the Oracle!

I'm sorry, but doing this causes a huge conflict in logic. It's like those 'This program has performed an illegal operation' messages.

If the person who is supposed to know everything (or 'enough' if you ask Morpheus) does, in fact, not have the power to know everything, then all of her previous predictions can come into question, as well as her future ones. What this does is essentially invalidate everything that the Oracle has done for character development and makes her role absolutely pointless, unless you count her as another checkmark on Shadow's 'list of people to upstage'.

This means that Morpheus will not find the one, should not have any faith in Neo, and that Shadow is, in fact, not practially perfect in every way.

And reveling in mocking Fate is a really pretentious trait.

"Neo will need your help to destroy the Matrix. You alone hold his fate."

But that doesn't matter anymore. Shadow doesn't give a damn about faith.

As Shadow walked out of the apartment with Neo, she looked down and upset.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Neo asked, lifting Shadow's face up to face him. Shadow shook her head.

"I'm fine." Shadow pulled away from Neo and started walking down the street. Neo had to run to catch up. He didn't say anything. Just then, an agent appeared.

"Run!" Neo yelled to Shadow, who, apparently, had never seen or met an agent.

Someone obviously forgot to upstage Neo in the Agent program.

Shadow ran, but in the wrong direction. She ran towards the agent and enveloped him in a hug. Neo was shocked. Shadow turned to Neo, grinning.

"Neo, meet my dad." Shadow stood beside Agent Smith, holding on to his hand.

Sorry Hugo Weaving fans, but we must now watch helplessly as Smith's character is torn into itty pitty bite-sized pieces.

Neo stood rooted to the spot. Agent Smith is Shadow's father. Agent Smith is Shadow's father. The words kept ringing in his head. Neo staggered back. Agent Smith raised a gun and pointed it at Neo. Unknown to Neo, this Smith was no machine. He was human.

So...how exactly did he appear?

"Dad, no! He's my friend!" Shadow grabbed the gun away from her father with ease. Agent Smith looked at Shadow.

"Corrine, these people are terrorists! They have to be eliminated!" Agent Smith told his daughter.

"I don't care! I don't want you to hurt him!" Shadow whined, with the air of a child defying her father.

"All right." Smith relented. He loved his daughter, even though she was so hot-headed and stubborn at times.

I'm not even going to bother commenting on this.

Shooting a glare at Neo, he let his daughter drag him off to meet Neo. She had no idea that the two had once met.

Neither did we. Neo isn't the One anymore, we don't know his past or anything. And even IF he had been unplugged in some fashion and had (through some act of magic alteration) faced off with Smith just like in the film, then why is Smith still alive?

Corrine is so naive. She can just step in the middle of a gunfight and not even know the danger. Smith allowed a smile to play on his lips as Shadow dragged him and Neo to a restaurant to eat something.

Sure Shadow! Let's go prancing around in the Matrix when the Agents know where we are! That's a wonderful idea! Nothing could possibly go wrong!

"So Dad, do you know Neo?" Shadow asked her father over a plate of fries. Agent Smith only sat there, not making a sound.

"Dad!" Shadow hit her dad's arm. Smith straightened up, looking at his daughter.

"Yeah. I know him."

"How?" Shadow was like a curious child, wanting to know everything.

"It's a long story." Smith's reply was short.

One the author doesn't have time for because she's more concerned with HER story! Fleshing out someone else's would be counterproductive.

"Neo, d'you know my dad?" "In a way." Neo replied. "Don't ask how." He added hastily. "Ok."

The minute Neo was out of the Matrix, he rushed to Morpheus's cabin.

"Morpheus, Shadow's... father... is Agent Smith..." He panted as he leaned against the table. Morpheus got up and gripped Neo's arm.

"Slow down."

"Shadow's father is Agent Smith." Neo collapsed into a chair, looking at Morpheus.

"You're joking."

I wish he was. I really do.

"I'm not." "Get the crew. We're going into the Matrix." Morpheus instructed.

Whyyyyyyy? To get captured and killed? Okay!

Cypher, who was listening to their conversation, slipped away to the storage room to look for the plasma gun.

DUN DUN DUN!

Agents had swarmed the building. Morpheus was captured. Apoc and Switch were hurt. Shadow was unconscious. Even Neo was bleeding. It was all Cypher's fault.

Actually, it's Morpheus. He was stupid enough to go in for absolutely no reason whatsoever. And all this does is show us how out of character he is. Cypher's just a scapegoat.

He betrayed them. He betrayed them to the machines. Cypher grinned evilly as he pointed the plasma gun at Tank and Dozer.

He magically betrayed them while he wasn't plugged in! Wow Cypher! How did you do that without the operator noticing?

He had been on the machines side, helping them. Cypher smirked as he fired the plasma gun. Its powerful beam hit Dozer and Tank. They crashed to the ground.

"Cypher, you goddamn son of a bitch!" Switch screamed into the phone.

"Sorry, baby. I'm being paid." Click. The phone went dead.

Tank gripped the plasma gun and aimed it at Cypher.

"Here's for Morpheus." He muttered before he fired the gun. Cypher barely had time to say anything before the beam hit him. His lifeless body fell to the deck and Tank kicked it to a side. He reached for the first aid kit and started working on his brother, who was unconscious, and at the same time, set the phone ringing. Neo let his injured companions reenter the real world before returning.

"Rest, people. We'll have to think of a way." Tank ordered the crew, who were bruised, bleeding, and unconscious.

And now Tank is out-of-character. I was honestly under the impression that Neo was second in command.

"Neo." Shadow entered Neo's cabin. Neo was lying on the bed, his eyes closed. Shadow shut the door behind her and crossed to Neo's side. She reached out to touch his arm.

"There was nothing I could do to save him." Neo spoke before Shadow could even touch him.

"No-one expected Cypher to turn against us. There was nothing you could do."

(Corrine) Well...the Oracle MIGHT have been able to give us a hint, but I kinda prevented her from saying anything relevant by causing a definition conflict.

Shadow sat down next to Neo. After a few minutes of silence, Shadow got up. She left the cabin, but not before saying,

"The most we can do is to rescue him."

No shit Sherlock.

She stole Neo's bit. He's NOTHING.

Shadow walked with the rest of the crew. She was dressed in black leather, sunglasses, black gloves, high heeled boots, and a trench coat. Shadow looked dangerous. Neo was wearing total black, and so was Apoc. Only Switch was wearing white.

"Shadow," Neo began, pulling her to a side. "Why didn't you tell us that Agent Smith is your father?"

"I know what you'd do to him. I don't want that to happen to my father, much lest any of you." Shadow looked Neo in the eye.

And she knew this despite the fact that she had forgotten her past life inside the Matrix and knew nothing about the Truth (and, therefore, what Agents were) until she was freed.

I know about what happened before. I only acted as though I didn't. I'm not all that innocent as you think. I'm not that naive."

Oh, wow. She's fooled us all! Not! The only reason Shadow has assumed a 'kick-ass' stance is because here a 'pity me' one wouldn't work. Morpheus' position would overshadow hers no matter what. The only way out of that would be for Shadow to be the one that was captured, but not only is there no reasoning to explain why, but it would not make Shadow look as cool.

She turned and strode off, pulling out a gun. Neo sighed. Shadow was protective of both her father and them, but she couldn't be on two sides at the same time. Either she leave them, and join the machines and her father, or she fight on their side and destroy her father. Both choices were difficult. Both were hard to make. But she still had to make one.

Shadow, Neo, Apoc, Switch, strode into the government office where the machines were headquartered. She stepped through the metal detector and was greeted by a ringing sound. The alarm. A guard strode up and began,

"Please remove all metallic items such as coins, keys..." He didn't have a chance to finish. Shadow removed her shotgun and shot the guard square in the chest.

And as she steals Neo's role AGAIN, we are basically faced with a 'Shadow kicks everyone's asses in a copy of the lobby scene.' I'll let you know when things start to get ugly.

The guard fell down dead. Shadow's face showed no emotion as she shot down the rest of the guards. Her mind was focused on rescuing Morpheus. Pulling out a Uzi, Shadow walked ahead of the group and headed straight for the lift. She did not deal in distractions. Striding towards the elevator, she spun around and told the group,

"You can either follow me with a direct approach, or you can do it your way. I don't deal in distractions." Shadow was not even in command, but the way she had taken charge scared them, including Neo. Neo stepped up.

"I'll go with you. Switch and Apoc will provide the distractions."

Because that's all they really are in this story. Slightly Amusing diversions.

Oh, and where's Mouse?

Shadow merely nodded before striding into the elevator. Neo followed. Apoc and Switch left for the roof.

"Shadow, are you sure you want to do this?" Neo asked. "Even if it takes my life, I will rescue Morpheus."

Agent Smith looked at Agent Brown, who was interrogating Morpheus. So far, even with the serum, Brown had not gotten any of Zion's mainframe codes. Just then, the lights went off and water sprinkled down on them.

"The rebels must be trying to rescue their leader. I want them eliminated!" Brown roared. Smith could not help but worry about his daughter, who was with the rebels. It was his human side. (Smith is half machine, half human.)

This contradicts the outright 'Smith is a human' from a while back. Is it really that hard to decide?

"Freeze!" The soldiers yelled at Shadow. Shadow did not stop. Instead, she disappeared from view. Apparently, Shadow had powers that Neo had never seen before.

Things are about to get really, really ugly.

Then, two of the four soldiers dropped dead. Their throats had been ripped open. The remaining soldiers started firing madly. Neo barely avoided being hit. Then, something grabbed these two soldiers and smashed their heads together.

If anyone can guess what it was, I'll give you a cookie. (Hint: Read 'Parody of Matrix Fan Fiction!)

"Sweet dreams." A harsh voice came from somewhere in front of Neo. It didn't sound like Shadow. Just then, Shadow phased into view. She wasn't human anymore. She looked more like a dragon, with talons, fangs, wings, and a long tail.

We are defenders of the night...we are GARGOYLES!

"What did you do to yourself?" Neo asked, stunned. "They said you could change the Matrix, but they didn't say I could change it as well."

No matter who is talking, there is something very wrong with this decleration.

Shadow smirked. She stood on her hind legs and stretched her long neck. Using her front limbs to open the door, she disappeared from view once again. "Stay here." Her hoarse voice sounded from around Neo.

(Shadow-dragon) Don't bother messing with me, puny mortal. Your silly One powers pale in comparison to mine.

A deafening roar split the silence. The door burst open as a fireball melted the hinges. Neo stepped in, followed by a huge dragon. The dragon swept its tail, sending two guards flying. Agent Brown aimed his gun at the dragon. But the dragon reacted impossibly fast, whipping its tail around to knock the gun out of his hand and flinging him to the floor. The creature's face transformed into Shadow's and she glared at him.

Bla bla bla...this is an insult to dragons. Bahamut, the all-mighty dragon king of the Final Fantasy series would be appalled.

"Say your prayers, Brown. You're going down." Shadow bared her fangs. Then, a blade extended out of Shadow's arm. She plunged it into Brown. Seconds later, Brown exploded, never to be seen again. Shadow turned to her father, who was staring at her in disbelief. He could not believe that Shadow, whom he knew as the naive and innocent girl, had turned into a ruthless killer.

It was the real Smith poking through, realizing what a paradox this Shadow-Corrine-Dragon character was.

"The Corrine you know is gone. I am Shadow."

"Morpheus."

Oh yea...we can't forget about him...it would be...wrong...

No, wait. It wouldn't be. Trinity was forgotten, Dozer and Mouse werepretty much forgotten, what's one more main character?

Neo spoke at last. He had undone the handcuffs that held Morpheus prisoner. Shadow waited, still in dragon mode. Apoc and Switch were with her. They were amazed at her transformation.

"Morpheus." Neo's voice broke the silence. Morpheus looked up. He was still dazed from the serum the agents had administered.

"Gotta... get... out... Agents... coming..." Morpheus choked out a few words. Shadow turned her long neck to look at him.

"Climb on my back. All of you." Shadow growled. She waited as Morpheus got up, pulled Neo, Apoc, and Switch up behind him. Then, she spread her wings and flew.

Anyone happen to have a nice rifle right now? And a helicopter with a Trinity doing the saving?

"Hang on tight!" Shadow called out as a shimmer of lights engulfed them. She had made them invisible.

*Alina proceeds to fall off of her chair in a fit of laughter*

I can't take this anymore...it's too rich! She's a textbook example of a Mary Sue! She has any power she damn well wants!

Shadow, Neo, Apoc, and Switch stayed behind in the Matrix. They were armed with guns. Then, Smith stepped out of the shadows.

"I expected you would come." His cold voice rang out in the silent alley. Shadow transformed into a huge creature. It was different from the dragon. Shadow had transformed into a dark phoenix.

Dragons weren't enough, apparently. And by the definition I use, Phoenixes cannot be dark. That's an oxymoron.

The dark phoenix waved a wing, sending a gust so strong,

Pigeotto! Gust attack!

even Neo had to hang on to a lamp post to prevent from being swept away, towards Agent Smith. The Agent flew back a few meters and slammed into a wall.

"Neo, Apoc and Switch, climb onto my back. Hold on tight." Shadow told the rest. After they had done so, Shadow took off, screeching. Agent Smith got up and started running after them.

The dark phoenix soared above the heads of many.

Well, if she couldn't get higher than their heads, I would assume that someone had clipped the phoenix's flight feathers and stuck them in magic wands to be sold to the Harry Potter community.

Neo looked down. It was a mistake. They were miles up in the air. Neo felt his head spinning. Suddenly, a bullet shot by. Neo looked out of the pouch.

That's REALLY bad imagery. The phoenix is a flying kangeroo!

He saw Agent Smith in a helicopter, chasing them.

"Shadow! Smith's on our tail!" Neo yelled up to Shadow. Shadow turned around. Opening her beak, she let loose a screech so loud, the helicopter's blades broke.

A screech loud enough to shatter metal would have caused the heads of any humans present to explode. Brilliant tactic: kill the people you're trying to save!

The entire helicopter fell apart, leaving Smith to fall to the ground. Neo felt Shadow's body shudder. She was exhausted.

"Shadow. Land on the ground. He's stopped chasing us." Shadow gave a weary screech and landed. She transformed back into the petite female she was, and collapsed into Neo's arms.

Not AGAIN...it's really getting old.

The effort of staying in the dark phoenix

It wasn't even a phoenix! Phoenixes cast Phoenix Flame, or cry tears to heal people's wounds. Please, don't use mythological beings if you don't know what the heck they do.

form combined with flying long distances had worn her out. Neo carried Shadow to a phone booth.

Awwww....poor Shadow...she saved the whole world and forced everyone into the background...Poor baby...

Before he could press the receiver to her ear, Smith shot the receiver. Shadow opened her eyes and saw Smith. She hated him.

Shadow got to her feet shakily. She removed the gun from its holster on her arm and aimed it at Smith.

"Go... to hell..." Shadow breathed. She let loose a volley of shots which the others echoed. Agent Smith dodged them with ease.

"Is that the best you can do?" Smith taunted. Neo would have loved to destroy Smith there and then, but he had to support Shadow, who was so weak, she could barely stand. Smith raised his gun and fired. Everyone gasped as Shadow flung herself in front of Neo to protect him.

Mary Sue Martyr! AAH!

Shadow didn't even feel it as the bullet penetrated her.

Feeling pain would be too realistic. It's just not fashionable. It doesn't match her sunglasses.

She didn't feel the blood spurting out of the wound, nor did she feel the pain. All she felt was anger. And then, she collapsed into Neo's arms.

Then, a miracle happened. Shadow was bathed in light, light so bright it blinded them all. Out of Shadow's body emerged two creatures, the Shadow Dragon and the Dark Phoenix.

Yay.

I think a little competition is necessary here. So, I'm calling on the perfect foils to the Shadow Dragon and the Dark Phoenix: Bahamut and Shiva!

(Images are from Draco-Tyranus and Scarleticia)

They don't look happy.

Years ago, in search of a body, they had found her, and had lived inside her for ages.

Bla bla bla....and once in the year of Our Lord 1625, they saved a baby girl from choking on her own flem...

If Shadow is 21 years old, then how long have they been inside her?

The Shadow Dragon picked Shadow up gently in its claws and laid her on a bed it had conjured, and covered her with a blanket.

"Rest now, Shadow. You have accomplished much in a short time. We thank you for that." The Shadow Dragon turned to face Smith. The Dark Phoenix was already staring at him with hatred in her crimson eyes. Hatred that he had hurt their friend.

This stinks of some lame attempt at a diety for the Matrix.

When are people going to figure out that just because you can change the Matrix to anything you want means that you can conjure up summons whenever you like with no explanation? That's just cheap!

"Ready?" The Dragon growled.

"Definitely." The Phoenix's voice was sweet, but carried an air of hatred.

It also had some other emotional baggage terms on it, like humor, sadness, and serenity.

The Dark Phoenix opened its mouth. A pure white ball of light shimmered there. The Dragon roared as it spread its wings and flew. From a distance, they stood over Shadow, drawing strength from her. Then, the two creatures fired their weapons. The twin beams lanced out and hit Smith, annihilating him. He screamed a last time before he disappeared into nothingness.

And thus he is put out of his misery...or is it?

Shadow awoke in the real world. Neo stood over her, and so were the rest of the crew. "We thought you were never going to wake up." He said softly. Looking at the rest of the crew, he took her hand and led her outside. It was bright, sunny, and flowers were blooming everywhere. Children played in the grass and streams. Animals, so like those she had only seen in cartoons, raced around.

Terraforming in two years, bringing extinct species back from the dead...is any of this possible?

Not unless they all opted for living in the Matrix after all that effort.

"How long was I out?" She asked, tears falling from her eyes.

"Two years." Came the reply.

"That long?" Shadow asked weakly. Then, she caught sight of a person standing below, looking out at the world.

"Dad?" Shadow whispered.

Nope. It wasn't the end of the torture.

The person turned around, only to reveal a man in jeans, t-shirt, and shades. He removed his shades. It was Smith. The human Smith. A single tear fell from Shadow's eyes. She ran to him and hugged him.

"Corrine... I thought... I thought I was never going to see you again." Smith whispered. Then, Shadow (a.k.a. Corrine) looked up into the sky. There, she saw two huge creatures, a dragon and a phoenix, flying above their heads. They looked down upon her, silently thanking her. A bright light shone, and then, they were gone. They had returned to their home, in her heart. Shadow looked at Neo and her dad. She smiled and hugged them both.

What a cheesy ending. It's like something out of a really bad cartoon. Disney movies are less sugary and more realistic than this. Rainbow Brite is more realistic.

It's grading time!

Long story short, this was a piece of crap. It's not even an Alternate Universe piece in my opinion because it doesn't follow the definition of AU. Everyone is out of character to the point where they're just random people with the names 'Neo' and 'Smith', the plot has been mangled...all to glorify the worst Mary Sue I have ever seen in my life.

And NO TRINITY. I'm biased there, though. Trinity is my favorite. But STILL...

This piece insults the original Matrix. No disclaimer, total rip-off of everything that was good about the original film, and it is degrading to the plot and characters that I know and love. For this reason alone, I give this piece a BONFIRE rating, which will be implemented once Shiva has performed Diamond Dust on it in honor of the Queen of Ice - Trinity.