Chapter 3-
Madhatter: So quick sum up before the next chapter:
Kaiyu: NO. NO CHAPTER THREE. *Blazes Gung-ho at the fic, weapons drawn*
Alina: Smith, the coolest badass, is getting married to what is no doubt a daughterSue. Trinity, meantime, has been replaced by a body double that has killed Neo or defied the laws of the Matrix.
Madhatter: Neo is in another plane of existence... or assumedly the Neb... he goes in... Smith is froo froo lala... and getting married to Neo's daughter.... Trinity has been replaced... and Neo's dead...
Alina: Note: SMITH is also a hillbilly right now, because he's marrying what I would assume to be an underage chick.
Kaiyu: And Kaiyu has left to fight the fic, one-on-one, ninja style.
Madhatter: Be careful Kaiyu! And let the force be with you!
Alina: *Gets out a canon charge list*
Kaiyu: ((By the way, I thought this would amuse you, but my Computer's name on the network is Trinity.))
Alina: Coooooooool.....
Madhatter: Spiffy!
Alina: Now let us finish this. Ninja-style!
Madhatter: *throws some ninja stars*
Kaiyu: *Kabuki howl, clappers.*
When Neo reentered the Matrix the following day, it was with the intention of finding out just what was going on. He searched for Smith in the Agent's usual haunts, but nobody had seen him since the Matrixi program had been unleashed into the Matrix.
Alina: (Neo) Porn shops...nope, Sears....nope....Homeless shelters....nope.
Madhatter: When did Neo let out in the Matrixi?
Alina: He uploaded this Matrixi thing in chapter one. I don't even know what it does.
Madhatter: He did? I thought he was making it in part one?
Alina: He finished it.
Kaiyu: Agent Smith had usual haunts?
Alina: Maybe he liked certain people's bodies.
Madhatter: Dude.. Kaiyu... not drug stores or whore houses! You gotta look in candy stores, pony ranches, and where the rainbow ends...and there... you will find Trinity... all tied up... and knocked out because of Tranity...
Alina: And we shall come bearing gifts of katanas, explosives, and GUNS! Lots of guns!
A car pulled up to the curb and stopped. Neo kept himself hidden for the moment, watching carefully as Agent Brown, stepped out. ""No sign of him here," Brown reported. "If we don't find Smith, and fast, the Boss is going to start ordering heads on plates."
Alina: ....I have no idea what the hell is going on.
Madhatter: Mmmmmm, heads...
Alina: I mean, I thought it was impossible to render an Agent OOC (excluding Smith). But with this use of "Boss", I was sorely mistaken. *Shudders*
Kaiyu: (Smith) I'll have a head with some of that really nice Jack Daniels Sauce... Oh, and hold the nose.
Madhatter: Brown: We need to find Smith... *all serious then sporadically bounces around like a genki monkey* because I'm his best man!! *jumps out in cheesy blue tux with ruffled shirt*
Neo walked away, being careful not to gain Agent Brown's notice. When he was far enough away, he took out his phone and tapped in a number. "Tank, you there?" "Yeah. You'd better be careful, your future son-in-law is up the road a couple of blocks from you." "Very funny, Tank." Neo rolled his eyes. "Which direction." "Keep going north." Tank reported. "Looks like he's on a date."
Alina: One more paragraph.
Madhatter: .........................
Agent Smith sipped his coffee as the young woman seated across from him took a bite of what Neo recognized as white cake with coconut frosting. "Delicious," Eve remarked. She was slim, but not overly skinny, with hair and eyes that looked not unlike Neo's, though her hair was a bit longer. Neo watched as Smith wiped a bit of frosting from her lip with his finger and put it in his mouth. "You're right," he nodded. "But there's something even more delicious." When Agent Smith leaned over the table and kissed Eve, Neo decided he'd had enough. "Mr. Anderson," Agent Smith considered for a moment, "Tell me, is this beautiful woman a relative of yours?" "That," Neo replied, evenly. "is my daughter."
Kaiyu: Since when did Neo have a daughter?
Alina: Since never.
Madhatter: *eyebrow twitches* It's the chick that can turn into Dragons and Phoenixes I tell you!!
Kaiyu: Since God bled to death?
Madhatter: Oh ho! Okay here we go! The chick ate Tranity in the story, which would explain why Trinity was missing in the other fic because she's still tied up and hidden and they didn't realize it.
Alina:
*eye twitches* FREEZE FRAME!
VIOLATIONS (as per the PPC
Official Charge List):
1.1. Causing personality alterations and character ruptures
1.2. Causing improbable romantic liaisons between canon characters (e.g. [Morpheus/Agent
Brown])
1.4. Causing a character to act like a lovestruck fool, especially over an original
character
1.7. Creating gratuitous uncanonical younger siblings or offspring of canon
characters
2.2. Changing the social conventions and structures
2.2.3. Changing the mode of dress, shelter, or transport of any [Matrix entity]
2.5. Causing bizarre programs
1. Causing time compression or expansion
3. Causing anachronistic behavior
3.1. Causing [Agent] characters to use slang
6. Changing timelines or characters’ ages without cause
7. Causing events to eventuate solely for the benefit of the original character
without regard to canon plotlines
3.1. Employing dei ex machina
4.1 Mangling of the English language (Especially EPS, the Endless Paragraph
Syndrome!)
Madhatter: We are batteries!!! *random rant* Drink Powerade!
Alina:
OTHER:
1. Annoying Kaiyu, Alina, and Maddie
2. Displaying extreme stupidity or causing canon characters to act stupidly
3. Committing fashion crimes
5. Hitting on Kaiyu, Alina, and Maddie's lust objects
Kaiyu: I have a lust object?
Madhatter: Woot! We have lust objects!
Alina: I dunno. I know I have a few. *hides her posters of Trinity and Neo, Smith, and Persephone*
Madhatter: Oh yes.... *hides her bow covered Neo*
Alina: THE end. Grade: BONFIRE. It could have been an F. But no. He had to go and mangle Smith's character.
Madhatter: This goes beyond Bonfire... this deserves TOTAL ANNIHILATION! But my Grade is Bonfire.
Kaiyu: God bled to death. This gets an bonfire.
Alina: And now I must console myself with proper Agent fanfiction.