Profile written for a Legend of Mana RPG. Commented on by Madhatter and Alina.
the Topaz Jumi
Chracters name: Tarea Pazsune
Madhatter: Well, the name is as expected, she's supposed to be named after the jewel. And well, she did it.
Alina: I'm developing an aversion to the letter A because of these profiles. They all have far too many As in them.
Madhatter: I am ALAVANDER! No no no no no! I am ALICE! No!! EVEN BETTER! I am Anastasia Anna Amerigo van Spuchi!
Age: 17 in Jumi years
Occupation: Dancer, performer, singer, Topaz Jumi
Alina: Jobs: Singing, dancing, saving the Planet from mass destruction, the usual stuff Sues do. All while looking just so darn spiffy!
Madhatter: I never realized she danced. She dances to the music of slave whores! Waha!
Partner: (jumi's only): nope
Madhatter: She's friggin' tall.
Alina: Erm....just a LITTLE TALL.
Madhatter: Maybe she wants to play pro ball?
Alina: Yea, and get one of those college scholarships.
Madhatter: I am big Holland girl yah! And I make hoop in ball yah! It doesn't matter though...I can still take her...*summons her majestic lightning of doom that only GM's can do*
Ok, she's officially skinny. She'd have to be LESS than small build when she
was 6'0" to not qualify as anorexic.
Madhatter: Dude...yer right...Oh wait! Ed...yer right...Trying to change from the word Dude to Ed...
Alina: Starting a new trend?
Madhatter: Hehe...Just like I'll start getting people to say spifferdoodles and bwar.
Earth Bash: Tarea pulls her staff above her head with two hands, and then slams the end of it into the ground. The force that she put into it travels through the ground, tearing it up as it goes, and hits the target. This isn't strong though, and would at the most break a humans legs (not that bad either) or knock someone off there feet. It doesn't take a lot of energy, and it almost never misses. She mainly uses it for breaking things, knocking someone off guard, or on people who just got on her nerves.
Alina: You bug me. SUE SMASH!
Madhatter: I wonder what kinda staff it is? Do you think it has the ultra gold of non breakability?
Alina: She has a thing with describing every second of her choreography that really annoys me...almost as much as the staff and the mystical energies.
Madhatter: Along with the 7 jewels and inscribed with the sea scrolls and the necronomicon?
Madhatter: I had to throw in the whole contradictory thing too. The attack itself though isn't relatively bad though and is actually at a decent level... but I take it that's for now eh?
Alina: Yes. That was an amazingly short paragraph. It makes me happy.
Madhatter: Man, I wish I had the profile that a chick sent me where she could summon a seven headed dragon that was invincible...we would have had such a friggin' field day with that.
Mind Snap: Tarea hold her staff horizontal in front of her self with her left had and puts her right hand vertically forward to the side facing her target. Her eyes close and a light red aura surrounds her. She then leans to either one side or the other, and then vanishes.
Alina: Let's do the mind snap dance Maddie! *Puts her pretend staff in front of herself and starts to bob her head*
Madhatter: WOO HOO! *sways from side to side...then disappears! And...lands on Alina's head*
She randomly appears around the opponent in the air, phasing in and out of sight. Finally, after her target is confused, she appears at point blank range. Her eyes snap open and left hand releases the staff and she swiftly grabs it with her right and swings it across the persons face or chest and break neck speeds.
Alina: If she's going to go at breakneck speeds, should she be breaking some necks while she's at it?
Madhatter: This is actually a attack that's very reminiscent of my character Azul, who is in the same Rpg.
Alina: Hmm...MORE evidence to suggest that she steals from random profiles.
This can also turn it a crouching move to hit the persons legs and 1) break them, 2) make them fall over, or 3) dislocate their knees. Depending on how long she has to keep phasing in and out, energy differs.
Alina: That's cheap. It turns one fairly powerful move into several. It makes GMs ANGRY!
Madhatter: Oh, don't worry, I was a GM of this RP...think we let her pull it off? Hehehehe...hell no.
I dose wear her down rather easily though. If she is low on energy, this attack is slower, so she is at the spots she phases into for longer amounts of time, and her final attack is much slower and can be blocked.
Madhatter: I dose? She sleeps!
Alina: And now the English language just plain deteriorates beyond comprehension. The explanation of the moves is making her drowsy!
Madhatter: I sleep with my magical attack that messes up your kneecaps like a child with a baseball bat. Ahhh... good 'ol baseball bats.
Alina: Nothing makes a better weapon than a baseball bat. Except maybe a rusty nail.
Madhatter: Or many rusty nails...
Magma Summon: Tarea dose a similar staff motions as in mind snap but she doesn't vanish. Instead, the wind picks up around her and the light red aurora turns into a huge bright vermilion red aurora. She the opens her eyes and jumps high in the air.
Madhatter: Her attack..." I GLOW RED! Be scared of my glowy goodness! REEEDDD!!!" Watch out for her glowiness!
Alina: I think I'll found the society against the cruelty of the letter N. The letter N is an important letter that you simply cannot forget when writing key words like 'then'. And, aurora is NOT an aura. And AURORA is the northern lights.
Madhatter: Aurora Borealis... very pretty >^_^<
Alina: Aaah! She glows! I'm scared! She stole the aurora borealis!
Madhatter: Also the name of Sleeping Beauty in the Walt Disney version...
Alina: Yes. All hail Disney.
Madhatter: So she glows... and pricks her finger!!
Alina: Ahh! It burns!
Madhatter: Let's hope she pricks her finger on a dirty hypodermic needle...
Tarea then throws her staff into the ground like a javelin while still airborne and then holds her hands out to either side. As soon as the staff hits the ground, the earth shakes and volcanic geysers, as well as deep cuts into the earth, appear.
Alina: Or on some shards of rock. Rock is good. She can slam her staff into the ground with the force of a sonic boom. Okie dokie....does this strike anyone as a tad reckless?
Madhatter: Well, I'm not going to hold it against her really...We told her she could have a strong move, as everyone could in the game, and only one, as long as it has some major flaws. I think the ground being broken up would prevent her from using the attack.
Alina: I know. And the lava and geysers is more of a stylistic thing. But it still bugs me how things like that are overused.
Madhatter: Of course that never stopped her when she played Rulya and did that super sonic spell of doom that Marlowe (my char) was gonna stab her because of. Hehe, stabbing Sue characters is fun.
Alina: *Brandishes a knife*
Madhatter: Here Sueeee....*grabs her and STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB* Waha...release of tension...No hotty pants that you target on to save you know!! *cackles evily*
After about three minutes of this chaos, she throws her arms forward so they cross at the elbow and then leans to the side, arms still outstretched. A large fiery phoenix appears out of the torn earth and wreaks havoc on her enemies for as long as Tarea can stay in that position and her energy holds up.
Alina: THREE MINUTES?
Madhatter: Gives people enough time to run up to her, stab her, and get it over with...
Alina: Honey, earthquakes that last more than TWO minutes are extreme disasters. THREE minutes would destroy the entire battlefield. They'd all be dead! And she gets a phoenix in AFTER all this?!
Madhatter: No they wouldn't be! Because the magical GM(me) would strike her down with my magical lightning first.
Alina: Oh yes. We cannot forget that. Pardon me, wise GM.
Madhatter: Waha! *Does a booty dance in celebration*
Finally, after her energy has been spent and she is badly burned, she faints in mid air and falls to the ground, prying that some one while catch her. After this attack, she needs medical treatment immediately or she will perish. This attack is near impossible to doge due to the fact it covers about half a mile raids around Traea.
Alina: There's always a sign that you've got a crap author - she can't be bothered to even spell her own character's name properly.
Her allies only need to stand the first half of the attack, because in the second half, she controls who the phoenix attacks.
Tarea: Catch me!
Azul: *walks over*
Azul: *Watches her hit the floor*
Alina: Did she ever need medical attention when she used this thing? Or did she give herself medical attention?
Madhatter: I dunno. She never used it.
Alina: Now that's a relief.
Weapon of choice: Celestial staff (It's a dark violet with gold coming up both ends about three inches up doth ends, and in some blotches, is missing. Around the staff in the dark violet stone that her staff is made out of, dark red swirls and lines are on it like vines growing on a wall.)
Alina: And here doth end thy staff, sweet clementine.
Madhatter: I knew it. I FRIGGIN KNEW IT!
Alina: What, more magic stones? It was practically a given.
Madhatter: I'm waiting for the dead sea scrolls! I'm so mad I can chew on the back of a cow...
Description (for picture purposes): Tarea is an extremely tall girl who is healthy looking and is rather pale skinned. Her eyes are a bright vermilion red and are a more rounded almond shape.
Alina: I think vermilion just happened to be her favorite word of the day. Vermilion this, vermilion that. Taera must have spent too much time watching Pokemon.
Madhatter: She's tall and healthy? I thought she was anorexic?
Alina: She is. She just doesn't realize it because she's not thinking when she makes height/weight ratios.
Madhatter: Tarea: "I Am healthy! Look! My skin and my rib cage are meshing together! See the healthiness!"
Alina: I'm healthy because I'm deathly thin! Thin is healthy! The Seventeen magazine said so!
She has extremely long auburn hair; witch is kept up one of two ways. 1) In a long braid tied with a pale yellow ribbon that she got as a child from Celestial, and 2) her hair is let to fall loose, but is tied together about five inches from the ends by long, black ribbon that is wrapped around a few times to make it about three inches long.
Alina: She got the ribbon from her staff? Her hair is longshort?
Madhatter: Umm...that made no sense to me.
Alina: I think those lines speak for themselves.
Madhatter: She puts me in a lot of pain.
Alina: Her profile is just like the others...annoying. Can I skip the extensive outfit description? Her abuse of Chun-Li last time traumatized me.
Madhatter: Cmon.. we have too...
Alina: *Shudders* Okay.
As for her outfit, Tarea has on a whit shirt/dress thing. Its sleeves are long and get bigger as they get closer to her hand. Around the ends of the sleeves is a black trimming, and about a half an inch from the end of that, there is a thin outlining of gold.
Alina: That better be fool's gold, damn it. What a witty shirt.
Madhatter: Let me just warn everyone ahead of time. I saw the picture she 'supposedly' drew...
Alina: Uh-oh. Let me guess! *Wants to guess*
Madhatter: Guess away!
Alina: It was either HIDEOUS or a bad plagiarism of someone's fantastic work!
Alina: Yes! I'm good! *Cheers*
Madhatter: In fact it was the outfit of the cat chick from Bloody Roar.
Madhatter: *Nods* We don't have to go farther than that. We can now skip the outfit.
Knight or Guardian: Knight
Alina: Nothing to say here.
Personality: Sarcastic and to the point, Tarea comes across as, well, a bit bitchy. She speaks her mind, and dislikes when people won't shut up and just keep going on and on and on and onâ€¦..
Alina: Gee, I wonder who this could be...*Yawns*
Madhatter: Have we seen this somewhere before? *cough* Kyleen.
Despite this, she cares deeply for her friends and family, and try's to see the greater good in even the meanest people (but she will do it while kicking their posteriors to kingdom come >^^<). She always is looking on the brighter side of life (or trying), but at times her sarcasm and boldness comes into play and kick her in the face.
Alina: (Boldness) Take THIS! *Smack*
Madhatter: It's the EXACT same profile description...we have redundancy written all over this one.
Her temper fuse is rather short, and when she gets mad, she isn't afraid to haul off and slam someone (anime mallet, frying pan, punch to the head, ect, ectâ€¦) but her temper doesn't last long.
Alina: Yep. Same old.
I am mad! But I love people!!
Azul: *takes a pitch fork and stabs her in the eyes* NOW YOU CAN'T SEE where I am...BITCH!
There are a few things that would get her angry enough to stay mad for awhile, witch would be girly girls, having to wear a dress or skirt, Jumi hunters, people who shout, and people that whine 24/7.
Madhatter: My, she must really hate herself...such low self-esteem.
Alina: And yet with all that extensive description of her outfit you'd THINK she'd be girly.
Madhatter: And her magical purple staff with the dead sea scrolls inscripted on it...
When she has to be, she can be very well mannered, but normally prefers to just be wild and crazy. She is extremely easily amused, way too spunky at times, and is a tad bit of a goofball, and deep down, wouldn't think twice before giving her life for her family, friends, guardian, and her older brother. The only thing that can really bring her down is the mention of her adopted brother Celestial.
Alina: So she can be whatever she wants, depending on what suits her. Do I give a shit about people like that? No. They don't need me to give a shit about them. They can give themselves shit.
Madhatter: *Stabs another Sue repeatedly* Go free little kitten!
History: Tarea was the first born child of a Jumi magic shop owner name Nephohlite, and his wife, Coral. As soon as she could walk, trouble started. Once while her father was watching her during shop hours, a rich Jumi came in wanting to buy items.
Madhatter: I'm waiting for the ultimate richness here...
Alina: And they sold the child into slavery. The end.
The, "I'm the daughter of the Clarius actually...who's rich and powerful
beyond all comprehension, even though the Clarius is only 17."
"She mysteriously got a space time machine and was sent into the past from the future."
Alina: Oh yes - and Nepholite was the long-lost twin brother of Nephlite and Nottoobrite, servants from the Negaverse. And Litebrite.
Madhatter: Well Nephlite is an actual stone. So that's probably where she got it. But I remember Lite Brites. I still want one of those.
Alina: I know. I'm just poking fun.
Madhatter: HEEE! Sailor Moon = Evil
Alina: You never read Tacky-Yellow No Name?
Madhatter: Actually I haven't ^_^;;;
Alina: It's the funniest Sailor Moon parody. Anyhoo.
As Nephohlite was talking to the man, Tarea got bored and started to walk away.
Alina: (Taera) All you boring people. Pshaw. I want adventure! The corner of the room looks adventurous!
Madhatter: Tarea: OOO...it's so dusty...AGGG!! DUST MITES ARE ATTACKING ME! *GM cackles in the background*
As she was walking, something shiny on the edge of the table caught her eye. Because she was too small to get it, she did what any other normal kid would do, pull on the table cloth.
Alina: Wow, she's been attracted to shiny objects all along? Quick, put an anvil on the table!
Madhatter: And gets hit in the head with a bowling ball!
Alina: Or a bowling ball.
Madhatter: Bowling balls are more colorful...Anvils make swords. I'd go for the bowling ball... you know...shiny prettiness.
The shiny thing fell to the ground and she smiled. As she bent down to grab it, a bowl which was now teetering on the edge, fell on top of her head. The light blue sparkly powder that was in the bowl poofed out all over the place, surrounding her in a cloud of sparkly blue in which her dad couldn't find her.
Alina: We're going from Profile to Badfic now. So unless this event turns out to be mind-shattering, it's a waste of time.
Madhatter: This is turning into a bad fic. Oh wait! You just said that!
Alina: We know badfic when we see it.
Madhatter: "And then her dad found her by stepping on her! And as punishment he shaved her head!"
As it cleared, Nepholite saw Tarea sitting on the floor with the bowl over her head, a little dazed as well. He crossed his arms and gave her the over the glasses look as she pushed the front of the bowl over her eyes. All she did was give him a big smile.
This is WAY too much description.
(Taera) My smile will make everything better, even though I spilled the mysterious blue powder everywhere!
Madhatter: It's a fic now... whaddya expect? *Waits for the scene where Neo and Morpheus have sex again by accident*
The man buying the items laughed as well, and said to Nephohlite that his kid
had spunk and would go far as a Jumi Knight. He purposed that when she got old
enough that she come learn combat under him and the other warriors of the finest
schools in Shippou. Her father would have said yes, but he cast a sideways glance
at his child who sat in a pile of sparkly blue dust and
sneezing about every 30 seconds.
Alina: Whaaaa? The kid can sneeze, and she's being troublesome, and so she's going to become a Jumi Knight?!
Madhatter: "Purposed?" I always thought it was proposed. Well, the father knew what he was thinking about!
Alina: That too. But there have been so many synonym changes that I just gave up keeping track of them.
Madhatter: That's right father dear, don't let her become a knight.
When Tarea noticed both men were looking at her, she looked at them for a moment
with her head tilted sideways, then smiled and waved. After Nepholite talked
with Coral about it (more or less
they fired magic at one another till one won), and it was decided that when Tarea was old enough, she would train to become a fighter.
Madhatter: Ah fudge, father got stupid! She only got the part because she flashed the old perverts!
When Tarea was three, her father left to go buy new things at the Bejeweled city, but when he came home that night, he also had something else. A little elf boy.
Alina: SLAVE OWNER!
Madhatter: An elf boy? How in the friggin' world did an elf get into the friggin' city of Shippou without the elders consent and in one days time?
Alina: Through the all-powerful plot hole?
Madhatter: Ah. So...she went behind my back...time to call in the reinforcements. *cracks knuckles*
The young boy looked about 61/2ish and had long shoulder length silver hair. He was a bit wiry and tall so he looked as if he would fall apart if you talked to him to loud, and was also very pale. When asked by Coral and Tarea who the boy was, Nepholite wouldn't answer. After giving up, Coral asked the boy his name. The only thing he did was shake his head, indicating he didn't have one.
Alina: 61ish? He's an old man elf?
Madhatter: Well, elves live a really long time.
Alina: True....Ok. I'll ignore that.
Tarea then piped up that they should call him Celestial. When her parents asked her why, she said it was because of his eyes reminded her of looking at the night sky. They were deep violet eyes that had specks off sliver, gold, pale blue, pale green, pale red, and they were a lighter violet around the pupil. Her parents shrugged, and the boy became Celestial.
Alina: *Eye twitches* PICK A DAMN COLOUR. NOT SIX, NOT TWELVE. ONE.
Madhatter: Well, he's a... what's the Sue word for males?
Alina: Gary Stu / Marty Stu. Some variant. He's a Stu!
Madhatter: Yes...yes he is...He nodded his head...She's a mind reader.
After the moment he was named, Tarea called Celestial big brother, and followed him everywhere. Likewise, Celestial grew fond of Tarea's kind nature fast. When she went off to learn the art of combat when she was seven, he came along as well. She quickly got a knack down for weapons and hand to hand combat.
Madhatter: Kind nature? I thought she was a bitch?
Alina: Must be the prebitch era.
Celestial, who still wouldn't speak even at the age of ten, leaned magic from his adopted father. Despite the fact he was a Jumi at heart, Celestial was kicked around, teased, and beat up by other Jumi children, teenagers, and even some of the adults.
Alina: Stupid elves need to be kept in line! Slave elf!
Madhatter: I'd beat that kid up too if he was a boy named Celestial.
Tarea and her parents tried to keep this from happening, but they couldn't stop it. It became so hard on the pale elf boy that he got to the point of never leavening the house.
Alina: "leavening the house" would mean that you were making it rise by adding yeast to it. I think that's where the missing letter N went.
Madhatter: Ahk. So...*plays with the missing letter N... looks behind her shoulder and sweatdrops as everyone stares and gawks.*
When she was ten, she was told by the leader of the school that she must go into the desert and fined raw materials to make a weapon for herself. The girl was overjoyed and ran out to find the things she needed.
Alina: Freaking child prodigy syndrome.
Madhatter: Weird transitioning...this history makes me want to vomit.
Alina: It's a pointless history. The events cited have little or no relevance to what she becomes.
While wandering through the desert, she was attacked by demons. As she tried to run away, one cut her leg open, and as the demons were coming in for the kill, a shadow came out of the sky and killed the demons. When she looked up and saw it was Celestial. He picked her up and brought her to an oasis and healed her leg, He then gave her a staff and told her to use it.
Alina: Anyone who lets their ten-year old kid wander around alone in a desert alone that's full of demons is RETARDED.
Madhatter: *Goes to the bathroom green in the face and hurls*
Alina: It's almost done, don't worry.
Madhatter: I dunno if I can take this torture much longer...it's worse than food poisoning!
He also said that he would always be with her so long as she used it. That night, Celestial ran away from home. From that day on, she vowed that she would find him and bring him home. When she heard that the Clarius was missing, she decided to become a knight and look for him. On her quest, she is not only looking for the Clarius, but also for Celestial.
Alina: The end. So her brother runs away, and 7 years later she prances off to annoy us. There's a BIT of time in there...like almost half her life.
Madhatter: THANK GOODNESS! Time for the grading, yes?
Alina: Yes. F. BORING. It wasn't THAT bad. But it was bloody boring.
Madhatter: *Uses her magical GMing powers and sends lightning down and burns the profile to a crisp* Why? It's simple... it was redundant, stupid, and I'm tired of reading the same thing over and over which would go back to the redundant thing! Send it rolling in flames!
Alina: Bonfire for you, then. ^^
Madhatter: Yes... Bonfire.