Bionic Phantom of the Profile

Profile written for an Original Concept RPG. Commented on by Madhatter and Alina.

Madhatter: Alright, wanna get crackin on the prof?

Alina: I was just about to suggest that. ^^

Madhatter: Kay...

"Knowledge is Power, Hide it Well."

Madhatter: Must be rather well hidden from him, eh?

Alina: He must promote the image that he is a moron. So far, it's working like a charm.

Madhatter: I can feel his stupid vibes.

Character Name: Inquisitor 247

Alina: His stupid vibes are so strong that that he couldn't think of an interesting name, so he just enumerated himself. (I am RPG character #64503.2)

Madhatter: Boy his mom musta been drunk when she named him that.

Alina: Drunk, or really stoned. It makes him sound like an android. I mean, isn't Led Zepplin's daughter named Moon Unit?

Madhatter: (Mom) *hic* kay... boy... your INQUISITOR! Like a super hero. And we'll throw on shome number to make you shound cool!

Alina: Hic!

Madhatter: (Mom) *BARF*

Character Age: ???

Gender: Male

Era: Future, (Imperial)

Alina: I'm amazed he can remember what his plumbing looks like. He can't remember his age!

Madhatter: My age is... a question mark.

Alina: Because I'm not sure. I mean, I could be past the infant stage...but I'll get back to you on that one.

Height: 6' 1" (six foot one inch)

Weight: 157 pds (with no gear)

Eye Color: Dark almost Chocolate Brown (has only one real eye the other is bionic)

Hair Color: Black, cropped short to his head, (to be out of the way) and slicked back.

Alina: Personality: Bla bla bla (with obligatory extras in parenthesis)

Madhatter: Nothing to out of place except for that BIONIC EYE!! I am all powerful INQUISITOR! I shall stare at you to death....Why yes... it's all being part of a chocolate brown red eyed super hero

Alina: And short slicky black hair.

Character Description:
Inquisitor 247 always wears his smiling white theatre mask, with a black scar painted on tte left cheek (the green glow from the bionic eye on his right side can often be seen as a faint glimmer through the eye socket), to hide his face from possible enemies and to help evade detection.

*Alina starts to count spelling and gramatical mistakes*

Madhatter: Make that green rather than red. White mask... THE PHANNNTOM OF THE OPERA IS THERE!!

(Inquisitor) SIIIING!

Madhatter: You know... blaring white wouldn't really be indiscreet.

Alina: No. Seeing someone prance around in a mask down main street tends to draw attention.

Madhatter: As would a glowing green eye.

Alina: (Child) Mommy...the man's eye is glowing.
(Mother) Oh, ANOTHER bionic eye man?

Madhatter: Well, so far it isn't too bad for the Phantom wannabe.

He wears a long black trenchcoat that stretches down to his knees where it meets his knee high leather boots, complete with straps ont he side. He wears a black light metal gauntlet that extends to his elbow on his right arm and just a black leather glove on his left hand with a 5-point star etched on it.

Alina: He wears a black light? What's he going to do with it, check the money he gets to see if it's real or not?

Madhatter: He's Jewish now...*Points to the star*

Alina: Wouldn't that be a six-pointed star?

Madhatter: Oh yahhh...Wannabe Jewish then! ^^

Alina: But it could be a Star of David. Remember - he can't count.

Madhatter: Cuz, you know how they wore em on themselves and all...making them very NOTICEABLE. But because he has a blaring white mask, and a glowing green eye, he's very indiscreet.

Alina: Yes. His magical powers keep him safe from prying eyes.

He wears the trenchcoat open at all times except when interigating or terrifying ppl to help add to the effect of his outfit. He generally wears loose black jeans and a vest underneath his coat.

Madhatter: I know midgets that'd be more intimidating than him!

Alina: I'm wondering what interigating is? Is it related to interdigits?

Madhatter: Oooo, look! My jacket's open! Feel the scariness!

Alina: He's going for the Matrix effect....*Eye begins to twitch*

Madhatter: *Pats Alina's hand* breathe in slowly...1...c'mon now...2....

Alina: *Breathes* Squaresoft film comes out tomorrow. Just breathe.

Inquisitor 247 always tucks his jeans into his boots to prevent them from getting int he way and inhibiting movement. He conceals all his weapons under the coat except the sword which is worn in a sheath strapped to his back.

Alina: All his weapons: the guns, the knives, the rusty nails, the dynamite sticks, the nuclear SCUD missiles, the kitchen sink, a towel, a chair...You can hide almost anything under a trenchcoat!

Madhatter: Er...what weapon? Is it miniature pieces of paper for excrutiating paper cuts? Those buggers hurt.

Alina: They do!

Madhatter: Hmmm... *keeps that weapon in mind*

Rune: 5-point star

Occupation: Imperial Inquisitor (hunter of traitors, heretics, democrats, and anything else alligned agaisnt the Emperor)

Madhatter: As well as on the side prostituting!

Alina: He forgot Communists and Nuns!

Madhatter: Me sucky for twenty! Goes great with chewy and fries!

Weapon: Automatic Pistol, Sword of light durable alloy containing a small eletrical device

Alina: That sentence needs COMMAS. Minus two points!

Madhatter: Okies... so he's hiding one itty bitty gun then rather than the massive amounts he oh-so implied...

Alina: And what does the electrical device do?

Madhatter: It's a vibrator. See, he's actually a girl.


Weapon Techniques:

Target Lock - Using his bionic eye Inquisitor 247 can make a target lock to allow for pinpoint accuracy with a ranged weapon. The down side being that in order to do this it requires several seconds to make a lock amd requires concentration and thus using much needed valuable time.

Madhatter: He really needs to work on his grammar...

Alina: He misspelled and. How do you do that?

Madhatter: He mispells everything! Isn't it apparent?

Alina: Yes, unfortunately.

Madhatter: I just kinda ignored that because well, it's everywhere in this profile.

Alina: I'm still keeping track. I'll throw in a total at the end. Just for fun.

Madhatter: Woo hoo!

The farther away as well as interveing terrain and movement all had required time to the target lock thus making it useful in certain situations. Not very draining but requires concentration and time.

Madhatter: Does this make sense to you at all or are you as lost as me? I don't think he's ever looked up comma usage.

Alina: No, he hasn't. These are killer run-ons. This attack is a waste of time. In the time it takes to pinpoint where someone is, you could have seen approximately where he is, walked up to him, and stabbed him.

*Madhatter is dead from the run-ons* (Bad pun)

Alina: lol

Madhatter: (er...joke)

Charged Blade - Inquisitor 247's blade contains a small electrical device that allows the blade to be charged with electricity. This has multiple levels from a small stunning shock all the way up to almsot a pure blast or raw eletricity.

Alina: that's what it does. Well, points for tying up that loose end.

Madhatter: And it gives amidable pleasure...Tee hee... I have one at home...

Alina: He sometimes dilutes the electricity with soda. For the effect, you know. The point is, no matter what intensity the setting was at, it would still be electricity. It's not like electrical energy mutates as it becomes more powerful.

Madhatter: Yes it does! It becomes this ultimate monster that fries up anyone and kills girlfriends! But! It needs a crystal for more power! Beware the guy who eats pretty girls!! (bad Inu-yasha reference)

The power cell only has limit supply charge without being given time to recharge thus meaning that on max power the blade may only use this ability once or twice before being drained while on its weakest setting, stun (this creates a mild shock that paralyzis the enemy for a breif moment allowing time for a quick lethal blow), can be used numerous times.

Alina: God...make SENTENCES.

Madhatter: And use colons...Not HUMAN colons mind you. I think we need those.

Alina: And incorporate that parenthetical stuff into the piece. Don't interject it.

The blade requires time to charge before the attack taking longer for higher power levels. It also requires time to rejuvinate the power cells after battle.

Madhatter: Umm isn't that what he just said?

Alina: Yes.

Madhatter: And he repeats...he's a parrot now too! *squawk*

Likes: Shadows, storms (esp lightning), and tropical fish

Dislikes: Fires, alcohol (esp ones with strong scents), and Wars of any fashion

Alina: He likes to electrocute the fish. But he can't stand all those latest wars hot out of Paris. They're too expensive and hip.

Madhatter: Well, they don't make any noise ^_^ The fish, I mean. *Has two hips and wiggles them left and right* I think I'm pretty hip. I got two!

He is often considered a dark brooding individual, one who speaks seldom when not attempting to seap information from someone or stating his views. He often just sits and states contemplating *or remebering* matters over and over in his mind.

Madhatter: Well, normally stating a persons views gets a lot outta he's not really a quiet person like he says.

Alina: (Inquisitor) I like kitties.
*Five seconds later*
(Inquisitor) I like kitties.
He has the memory of a goldfish. Hence why he must repeat things over and over.

Madhatter: I think the only people I consider quiet are mimes.

Alina: Hey! He has a white mask! Maybe he's a wannabe mime!

Madhatter: But he's BATMAN! *cough* Ahem... I mean THE PHANTOM!

Alina: Nanananananana...PHANTOM!

*Madhatter pretends to be Christine Daee and kicks Inquisitor in the face*

When Inquisitor 247 does speak it is only a few harsh words that deliver his message as quickly and directly as possible. He is nto a man to dance a round the subject, he gets right to the point. He appears externally to be an uncaring individual. He is a calm man most of the time never raging or showing much emotion of any sort, it would tkae a great effort to bring this side forth in him.

Alina: Sweet. I think I'll act like a bitch to him.

Madhatter: Psychiatrist: So.. you're cold and harsh...what is your problem?
Inquisitor: I tell everyone I like kitties...but...I actually like dogs.

When he fights, he does not rage but simply remains calm and collected and try to analyze the situation taking everything in and making logical actions based on this. He does not fear death so will always fight at the fore but is not fullhardy and will do anything so overly dangerous as to loose his life needlessly.

Madhatter: I'll bet he runs screaming at anyone wearing a cape with a scythe.

Alina: I think I should touch on this. I'm a big fan of PARAGRAPHS, which are non-existent in this profile. Paragraphs are REALLY nice.

Madhatter: They are... so in depth!

Alina: They help me not get lost!

Madhatter: But he doesn't know numbers! How in the world will he write full fledged paragraphs?

Alina: Or know proper comma use? He needs to go back to school.

He is often vengeful but ina quiet manipultive way nto so mucha violent one. Due to his personality querks he has no known friends and his reluctant to share his secret with anyone, often he sits alone.

Madhatter: He has personality quirks? Where? All I see is generalality.

Alina: He's a loner. The end.

Madhatter: What makes him strangely unique from the rest of the 50 billion cold silent types out there?

Alina: Uh...his secret obsession with the Phantom of the Opera?

Madhatter: Ah! It's because he has a glowing green eye!

Alina: Yea!

Madhatter: *slaps forehead* I forgot about that...and his obsession with wanting to be the Phantom. I wonder if that half of his face is just as ugly.

Alina: I hope so, for all the effort he's going into using the damn mask.

To sum up his personality he is a quiet inverted person who prefers to think thinks out logically and seap among the shadows rather then dash in like the big hero.

Alina: Inverted - upside down. Introverted - self-centered, quiet. Two very different things.

Madhatter: With a glowing green eye and indiscreet flaming white mask!

He grew up in the slums in the city of Bellezza as he aged, his skills at theivery, which he thrived on grew, eventually becoming famous at least among the slums for his capers and charity only to be caught at the age of 17 by Inquisitor 63 and taken into custody.

Madhatter: ...........I don't even wanna sort that out.

Alina: And then he passed from hand to hand. From Inquisitor 64 to Inquisitor 65 to Inquisitor 66....this progressed until number 246.

Madhatter: What did he do? Eat 'em?

Alina: Maybe they got sick of his eye.

Madhatter: (Inquisitor) I dun' like you... not ambiguous enough....*CHOMP* Next please!

Upon a thourgh psyhic exam Vlad was deemed able to undergo training as an Inquisitor, as part of his plebargain and mostly becasue Inquisitor 63 deemed him a worthy canidate for his persuasion and theivery skills. Besides why did the past matter to one whos identity would not be known but to a few?

Alina: Vlad? So he has A NAME?!

Madhatter: Apparently...

Alina: His mother wasn't drunken? I would have liked to know that - at the beginning of the profile where names are supposed to GO.

Madhatter: His mother was still drunk...she named him after a guy who enjoyed watching people being impaled while eating his dinner...

Alina: 'plebargain'? What's that? A deal with peasants? The plebes?

Madhatter: plebargain is actually a word though the meaning escapes me at the moment. Dictionary?

Alina: I think he meant pleabargain.

Madhatter: Oh yah! That! *Brain is half-dead from crap of a profile and paint fumes*

*Alina gives Maddie oxygen. Madhatter sucks it all up.*

After two years as an apprentice Inquisitor 247 set out on his sacred charge for the Emporer, never forgetting his own oath, not ever. He eventually became aware of the fanatic search for the keys and the power over time they weilded.

Alina: So he's 19. Wow. Simple arithmetic.

Madhatter: That paragraph was actually pretty decent.

Alina: Yes. Not bad.

Here was a weapon that he had been told to find, one that could save his family and stops these wars from ever happening, now he only needed to find them, no matter the cost to make good his sacred oath.

Alina: Okay, where the heck is all this jazz about saving his family coming from?!

Madhatter: I dunno...Saving his mommy from the drink maybe? And would periods really hurt?

Alina: She needs her daily injection of heroine. C'est tout.

Madhatter: Heh

Alina: My grade - F. The profile was obviously not thought through, and what does make sense is just plain cliche-loner stuff. And when there's 80 spelling/grammatical errors (give or take a few depending on interpretation), you know there's a problem.

Madhatter: I give it an F as well. Not concise, to many errors, and overly stupid...I don't have much to say since you said it already.