Bad MiniSnape

Profile written for a Harry Potter RPG. Commented on by Kaiyu and Alina.

Kaiyu: Okay. This is for one of those Harry Potter Journal RPGs. This app is for a character called Blaise Zabini, someone mentioned briefly in the books in passing. :x

Alina: Okay. I remember this name somewhat....

Kaiyu: I think it's a little further on in the storyline, where they're a bit older, but hey... whatevah.

About my character

Name: Blaise Zabini (male)

Age: 16

House/Year: Slytherin 6th year

Alina: Now here's something I do not quite remember: is Blaise a student at Hogwarts at the same time as Harry?

Kaiyu: Since Blaise is such a brief character in the books, you'll find just as many female Blaises in these RPs. And yes, I think so.

Alina: Okay. I'll double check later (I just don't feel like going up to my room to get the books, it's so far away. ;.; )

Class List: Whichever classes Draco is in.

Kaiyu: I bet you can see where this is going.

Alina: Um. If this person is in sixth year, they would be in none of the classes Draco was in. Unless they failed, but they'd be defunct fifth years. Unless this is set in Harry's 6th year, in which case I'll shut up.

Wand: Ghostgum (white) and dragon heart string, 10 1/2 inches

Kaiyu: (Blaise) Just like Draco's MONSTER CO- *slapped*

Alina: Is a ghostgum even a type of wood? (Note to self: check Tifa's plant books). But based on the length, that wand must be super-swishy.

Likes: Slytherins,purebloods,potions,dark arts,draco,professor snape

Alina: Now gee. This is a rather stereotypical list. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

Kaiyu: Heaven forbid a Slytherin not show some non-stereotypical personality traits.

Alina: I know. Only Professor Snape is allowed to have a personality that is more one-dimensional.

Dislikes: all other houses,muggles,mudbloods,harry potter

Alina: Well, that pretty much limits their social circle to a total of 213.6 people.

Kaiyu: And they're all inbred.

Alina: Soon they'll start developing those inbred malformities like missing limbs, impotence, and insanity.


Quirks: seems to want to be like snape

Heritage: Pureblood
Magical Specialty: very good with the dark arts

Alina: Like all stereotypical Slytherins!

Kaiyu: Of course.

Alina: (Darth Voldemort) The Dark Side is strong in you, my padawans.

Familiar: an owl called Leto

Love life: he is currently single (still a virgin).he has a crush on both draco and snape.


Alina: So he's in the mood for slashy Draco/Snape/Blaise slash. That is the goal of the character and they will STOP AT NOTHING TO GET WHAT THEY WANT!

Kaiyu: (Player) I HAVE COME... FOR BUTTSEX. *Destroys downtown Tokyo* BUUUTSEEEX.

Alina: (Snape) Bugger off you adlebrained twit. If you were not from my house, I would remove 100 points due to your behavior.

Kaiyu: (Player) You know you want me.
(Snape) *Hexes*

Appearance: the tall-dark-silent type.shoulder length black hair.pale skin.greyish blue eyes.looks a bit like a younger snape.when out of school he sometimes likes to wear female clothing.he likes to wear makeup as well.

Kaiyu: Because everyone in Slytherin house is a virginal transvestite whore!
(Snape) I resent that. *puts away Madonna bra*

Alina: Moving along...

Proposed Actor/ess: Brian Molko (singer for placebo) look at my icons to see.

Kaiyu: ...I shall allow you to do the honors for this one, Elly. 8D

Alina: ....Who is Brian Molko? (*is stupid*)

Kaiyu: (Remember that guy I showed you the other day? That.)

Alina: *chokes on her saliva*

Kaiyu: Am I the only one who finds this completely ridiculous?

Alina: ....I'd really love to say something about that choice of image, Kaiyu. I really would. But I can't think of anything to say, as it says everything itself.

Kaiyu: I couldn't have said it better myself. So, summarizing up to this point, Blaise Zabini = Sexdwarf.

Alina: Yep.

Personality: he strides confidently through the school, cutting a clear path wherever he goes. he always speaks in a quiet voice unless provoked and generally keeps to himself. usually referred as "cold" by other students

Alina: He's a miniSnape. With lusting crossdressing habits.

Kaiyu: He's the angsty loner. Oh, please, pamper him, coddle him, fuck him up the bum.

History: he is an only child. came from a wealthy pureblood family. father is a death eater and is in azkaban now.mother is a socialite who aspires to be as wealthy and as sophisticated as narcissa malfoy.

Kaiyu: I always found 'death eater' a hilarious term. "MMMM, DEATH 8D" But that's fairly irrelevant.

Alina: It comes from the fact that Voldemort doesn't want to die. I think. Is that the whole history?

Kaiyu: No.

comes from a long line of slytherins.parents are hardly around and show him no love.his best class is potions and he worships the ground snape walks on.

Kaiyu: That's his whole history.

Alina: I will now rewrite it.

Kaiyu: You couldn't do any worse.

Alina: History: Was brought from obscurity so that said player could bang his/her lust objects and maintain the retarded Slytherin stereotype.

Kaiyu: Bravo.

Alina: Why thank you.

Character Secrets: has a crush on draco malfoy and professor snape

Alina: Secret number 3: Is repetitive and can only think of sex.

Kaiyu: If this is a secret, why has it been referenced all throughout the profile?

Alina: Because it's not really a secret.

Kaiyu: This next part makes me giggle and also vomit with disgust ;.;

Intentions: i'd like to see him end up with snape.he is 16 and that is legal age in england.but if snape doesnt want to then he'll just continue fantasizing about it.

Alina: *sporfle*

Kaiyu: ...*gets a towel*

Alina: Legal age aside, if he got caught with Snape, they'd both be FUCKED OVER. And not in the way he wants.

Kaiyu: But it's pure, ,virginal LOoOOoOoOoOoOoOove~~~ <3

Alina: Heee.

Kaiyu: And now, the writing sample.

Alina: Oh GOODY.

Sample Journal Entry: I can't believe they're making me use one of these blasted things. My summer was boring as usual. I did hang around Draco and the rest of the gang, but I mostly practised spells,potions,and whatnot. I'm hoping Professor Snape will allow me to watch him do his potions this year. But I won't hold my breath on waiting for that. I suppose I should go see what Draco is doing.

Kaiyu: The end.

Alina: Bonfire.

Kaiyu: The fact that the journal entry is about sixty times better than anything else in the profile makes me think it was copypasted. Yes. So, so bonfire. Sorry, sexdwarf.

Alina: Damn straight.