Universal Solution #3854.6

Profile written for a Final Fantasy VII RPG. Commented on by Kaiyu and Maddie.

My character's real name is Universia. But she uses many different aliases, to keep her past behind her. The name she uses most often is Akurei{Aku or Rei, for short.} and/or Shinjite.

Alina: That's two names. Glad to know she can count. Or, rather, six names when you count all the other handles.

Madhatter: Universia? What the fuck?

Alina: I know. Isn't it just so ALL-IMPOSING?

Madhatter: "Hi... my name is... Phenomonal! I am also known as the orbit that surrounds this solar system!" It's just like saying "Hi.. my name is God."

Alina: Only Sailor Cosmos was able to get away with being named Universe. And she did so BARELY. (And KOS-MOS, but she doesn't count because that's an acronym.)

She is 24 years old, in human years. In her own forgotten races' years, she is 7,235,868,400 years old. Her race of people are called Universal; meaning she has the blood of every race in the universe, known or unknown.

Alina: Now let us ponder that paragraph for a moment.

Madhatter: T_T

Alina: *snickers and tries not to laugh*

Madhatter: *shoots her* Shoot first... ask questions later!

Alina: She's older than the PLANET. Okay!

Madhatter: Remember... she's the solar system. *nod nod nod* She is God. She is... a Mary Sue.

Alina: She also doesn't seem to understand what the common definition of species is. At least in the Darwinian sense, which is the one the game uses.

Madhatter: Like I said... she thinks she's a god. The omnipotent being.

Alina: But yes, her species is Mary Sue.

Madhatter: Very much so. She points at humans and goes, "Haha! I am superior too you!" To which the human race gives her the finger.

Alina: And then gets their phone call.

Akurei is 5'7" and weighs 123 lbs.

Madhatter: So much for being a superior race.

Alina: I'd just like to say that this is one of the parts that I don't have a problem with.

Madhatter: You'd think she'd be 5'9'' and super model thin.

Alina: Which is why I like that part.

She has dark brown hair with dark blue and silver eyes. (There is a sunburst affect of silver around her pupils.) The silver is a sign of her destiny.

Alina: If the destiny bit hadn't been in there, I think I could've lived with the funky eyes.

Madhatter: Yah... I concur.

Alina: It bothers me more that the eyes, which are special already. This adds another level of SPECIAL.

Her hair is long, down to the small of her back and spikey, usually pulled back at her neck. She has a Saiyajin-like tail that she hides in her black pants. Its black with a silver tip.

Madhatter: WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. Okies... this is a whole other series now.

Alina: Mind, I'm usually lax with the funkiness in my game, since most rpers that join drop it after realizing how silly it is. But....no. Again, if she had chosen maybe ONE of these special traits, or two, I'd be okay with it. Oh, and - It's, silly. (end nitpick.)

Madhatter: Very silly. She also seems rather to want to change the story of the game to her accord. Destiny my ass. She's not the One. Not like Neo. Although...if she met his end, that'd be great.

Alina: *lip starts to tremble at mention of Neo*

Madhatter: *huggles you* It's okay... It's okay. *pat pat pat*

Akurie uses mostly her abilities to fight.

Alina: Well gee, I wouldn't expect her to NOT do anything in order to fight. That would be, how do you say? Physically impossible?

She has two japanese katanas that are virtually unbreakable. Another sword called "Densetsu" that has a past shrouded in mystery like her own, given to her. Aku has trouble remembering her past and who gave her the sword.

Alina: And behold the clichés continue. I'm starting to think that this is a troll profile. A troll profile with spelling, but still a bad troll.

Madhatter: Katanas can break. Get over it.

Alina: She also has more than one set of weapons. Unfair edge. What's the point of having another sword if the katanas are indestructable anyway?

Madhatter: I also do not like the "mysterious past" thing going on again. Fuck the rest of the profile I give it a nuke.

Alina: You'd be wise to do so. As it goes on, she has a materia that is a superduper master materia that contains every spell in existence, she has amnesia, and she's got the loner personality. I swear, it's like she wrote it after reading my style sheet and wanted to irk me in every way possible. ^^;; Thus, in case this is a troll profile and she's trying to trip me up over fair use clauses, we'll stop here. I can't get my ass kicked for having the profile here when only part of it is up. ^_^ Grade: D. She can spell, and the profile has SOME redeeming qualities. She has some good 'weaknesses', and at least she's got a reasonable hair colour, height, and weight. She also tried to bring this into FF7 canon. Didn't do so well, but tried.

Madhatter: I saw NONE! ZEROOO! ZIP! But that's just me...but you're right. She can spell. Okies. I'll give her points for that. Burn it is.