Profile written for an Anime RPG. Commented on by Kaiyu and Alina.
Kaiyu: COMMENCEMENT! PROGRAM INITIATION!
Alina: I don't know what fandom this is from. I know it's some anime.
Kaiyu: Does it say which one?
Alina: No, and I'm not able to tell from skimming the profile. I saw "Michiru" and "Paladin," so I'm assuming it's run-of-the-mill pre-1800 Anime RPG set in Japan.
Kaiyu: Oho. Generic!Anime RPG. Let's go.
name: Michieru "Morigetsu" Lunar
hair color: Blue
build: well built, a little slender, good work out
Alina: This gentleman/gentlewoman's Shift key and Spacebar do not seem to be functioning properly.
Kaiyu: Is this a male or a female character?
Alina: I'm fairly sure it's a male character.
Kaiyu: Because in EITHER case, this character is WAY TOO TALL AND SKINNY. I like to label this condition "Giant Noodle Syndrome."
Alina: We all know that skinny twigs are in. But it could be worse. As the submittor said, he could've been 5'9" and 42 lbs.
Kaiyu: WTF? That's either a very dead corpse or someone is made of helium.
Alina: I'm going with corpse.
Race: Human? (Rumor has it he has a little half-elf blood mixed)
occupation: Oni apprentice
Extended physical description:
Overall face: fine boned, cheecked boned, slender
hair: Long, blue hair that kinda reminds anyone of the gentle waves
from the sea. Everytime when the wind blows through it, he feels a
sense of comfort.
Alina: Warning: The "mysteriousness" meter is sounding warning bells.
Kaiyu: Okay. "Oni", I take it, is Japanese for Ogre or Demon. How does one train to be either of these things?
Alina: Maybe a demon is training him, and then he'll be Demonized or something.
Kaiyu: Also: Hair is giving very bad flashbacks to AngstyBlueBoy + Thorn. It's Angsty and Blue and wavy and coupled with EMOTION.
Alina: Yes. This profile falls into the "far too overdescriptive and I really didn't need to know all that" category.
eyes: kinda cat-like with hazel. Sometimes, when someone would look
at his eyes, they would get the feeling that he's about to cry. Even
though its almost a sorrowful expression to those that don't know
him, those that do know that behind those eyes lies a peaceful soul
that's very sincere and would protect anyone at any cost.
nose: a long nose with small nostrils.
mouth: nice lips, almost child-like innocense.
Alina: He's repeating eye description. And I really didn't need to know what shape his nose is, unless he had an abnormally long one. But this is too much.
Kaiyu: Thank you for that scintillating insight into your character. Now, let me repeat the question: WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR CHARACTER'S EYES?
Alina: Maybe he has the same problem as me - our eye colour is registered as different colours on every document. Or maybe he's just talkative. :3
Skin shade: some-what tanned with a tint that's almost like Indian.
voice: whenever he speaks, its almost like hearing a gentle rainfall
that soothes the soul. Kinda baritone/bass like depending on the
situation. If he is embarrased, he kinda sounds like a little child's
high pitched voice. If he is threatened or is really furious at some
evil doer, he sounds like a strong thunder sound, almost as though
heaven is ready to punish some injustice.
Scar: When he was found as a little child, he had a crescent moon
with a falcon above it. So to this day, he keeps it concealed behind
Overall health: He seems to be a fast healer. Even when there's the
first sign of a cold in him, it would last about 2 days. When he was
first found, he had a fever.
Alina: He's got an entire operatic choir locked away in those vocal cords. But the real question is - can he articulate pharyngeal sounds?
Kaiyu: He's a walking bag of metaphors.
Alina: And Random Capitalization.
physical strength: for some strange reason, whenever he gets mad,
some kind of special strength empowers him, and can virtually lift
almost anything or send someone flying across the ground about 10
miles or so. When he's peaceful, he can lift upto his own weight and
throw anything to about a mile or so.
Alina: (Michiru) MICHIRU SMASH!
Kaiyu: WTF no. You can't throw anyone ten miles. WTF. Let alone ONE mile.
Alina: I think he's watched Dragon Ball.
Misc: Michieru has this weird catlike reflexes, so if someone knocks
him over, he can get up quickly, and can run faster like there's no
Kaiyu: I like that every question the profile asks is left virtually unanswered and is filled with some random characterization. I mean, it's hard to make fun of this. It's like, usually there's stuff to play off of and joke about. But this is a giant pile of bland stupid.
Alina: He's faster than a speeding bullet! Can throw objects ten miles into the atmosphere! He slices! He dices! He makes Julienne fries! He has mastered Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Loss Plan!
Clothing: Can wear any type of armor. His prefered armor is like the
type a Paladin would wear. He bears the sacred armor of the Snowfalcon.
Jewelry: He wears a ring that has a aqua marine like orb with angel
wings to the side. When ever he uses the ring, it's almost like he's
communing with divine forces. He also wears a prayer feather on his
left ear and a magical talisman around his neck.
Alina: I am, I am, I am Superman and I CAN DO ANYTHING!
Kaiyu: So A) What does the ring DO, and B) No, never mind, you're too fucking twinky, you don't need the ring.
Misc: Whenever he goes on a journey, he would carry a pack that
contains rations that could last about 3 weeks or so. He also carries
water sacks, a compass, a cloak to keep him warm depending on weather
conditions, and some herbal remedies (cause he's a shaman).
Alina: So he carries several hundred pounds of stuff with him wherever he goes. And all of a sudden, having some herbs makes him a shaman (were there ever such things resembling shamans in Japan, where I assume this takes place?)
Kaiyu: Yes. But no paladins.
Alina: I see. Let the contradictions continue!
Kaiyu: I hope this character never got any play time.
Alina: No. It was in a submission thread.
Kaiyu: Thank goodness.
#of weapons: 4
Weapon 1: Luciender-Sword of Light
Weapon 2: A celtic broadsword
auxiliary weapons: none
range weapon: a composite bow.
hidden weapons: a chain that could whip out around another weapon and
take it away, some throwing knifes, some shurikans, some tiny bombs.
Alina: I'm so happy to know that Weapon 1+1+1+4+?= 4
Kaiyu: Ah. Celtic Ninja.
Alina: I'm also amazed to note that he doesn't have a katana. I thought those were the weapons of choice for twinks.
Kaiyu: He invented the Taijutsu no O'Malley fighting style, of course.
Powers, Occupations, Abilities:
Power level: 17
Magical abilities: Communing with nature, telekinesis, Druidic like
power( although he is a Shaman, he can use any nature magic). Besides
being well muscled, Michieru also has the wisdom of nature, the
heavenly forces, and life itself.
Alina: See, true shamans would argue that they don't have any power in themselves - it all arises from their mediation of the spirit realm.
Kaiyu: He can use any nature magic. Why? Because HE IS SO SPESHUL (BUT NOT REALLY HE WOULD NEVER TRY TO STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT OMG)
Alina: But wait! There's MORE!
Kaiyu: There always is.
Since he is a Shaman,
Alina: That's Shaman with a capital S, people.
he has the
natural ability to heal the sick or wounded, and can sometimes bring
back a lost warrior depending on his deitie's judgement.
Alina: He's....Jesus incarnate!
Kaiyu: Speaking from a D&D standpoint (and proving that I AM a dork), that's a Cleric. A Druid could heal, yeah, but they didn't really worship deities and that's why they can't usually bring people back. </dorkery>
warrior was of pure goodness, he/she would be brought back. If the
warrior made a sin or foolish prank, then he/she would have to be
tested if he/she wishes to atone and come back to life. Michieru can
also levitate, speak to animals, and understand any languages.
Alina: He speaks all possible languages? Can he help me with my linguistics homework? I don't understand the distribution of dental and alveolar Ts in Frenglish.
Kaiyu: I don't have anything witty to say. This is just really stupid.
Special attacks: Solar Delta Storm, Gaia's Eternal Rage
Description Solar Delta Storm) he begins to glow a bluish/white aura
surrounding him. This attack summons a magical circle around the
enemy and prevents the bad guy from escaping. Sometimes, he can learn
the enemie's special attack and empower it with his shamanic ability.
Alina: This really is a lot like Genie Pants Woman.
Kaiyu: MOON TIARA POSING MAGIC DESCRIPTION ATTACK.
Example, someone has the ability of Dark Lightning Blast. Michieru
can convert it to Holy Lightning Blast. But other times when Michieru
uses Solar Delta Storm, he can paralyze the enemy and send a
lightning bolt mixed with the energy of nature and can cause the
enemy to burn up like a wild forest fire!
The "energy of nature"?!
(Michieru) Only you can prevent nature-energy induced forest fires.
Kaiyu: I really love the POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS standpoint this guy has on anything. He's a real visionary.
Alina: He would've been such a JOY to play with. Not.
(Gaia's Eternal Rage) Michieru would only use this as a last
resort depending on the situation. For example, say the enemy summons
some kind of evil/negative force or evil creatures, Michieru can
summon Gaia to act as judgement to destroy the evil.
Alina: This strikes me like BECOMING the judge and not merely administrating the judgement.
Kaiyu: (Gaia) What the fuck, Michieru? I was in the shower! You KNOW I'm busy with the Planeteers all the time.
It first starts
out as a solar eclipse when the sky darkens and the winds pick up
speed. Next, Michieru glows very bright as though the goddess enters
through him. He then begins to speak some kind of ancient language
that was long forgotton as he traces the sign of the pentagram on the
Alina: Wow. He must causes the planet to rotate abnormally fast a lot in order to create all those eclipses.
Kaiyu: And the enemy doesn't just... LEAVE or perhaps STAB HIM while he's doing this?
Alina: Of course not. This is anime!
The victim then becomes paralyzed, starts going
into seizures, and collapses. Then comes the judgement part.
Depending on the situation the evil's influence has done, it would
either be decided to be cursed, to convert to goodness (if willingly
to atone), or to be destroyed to let it be a lesson that whereever
there is evil, there shall always be goodness.
Kaiyu: It's the circle of life.
Alina: And it moooves us all!
afinity: Michieru can use his attacks anywhere(except for one
problem) he can't use his attacks on those who are good or who happen
to be under some kind of hypnosis.
Kaiyu: That makes it justifiable then.
Weakness: Michieru sometimes gets nervous when he enters places that
contain negative energy or if there's a really strong evil entite's
vibration kicking around.Plus, he needs to eat a candy bar whenever
he goes out in order to replenish his magical abilities.
Alina: What a TERRIBLE weakness.
Kaiyu: He's Hypoglycemic.
Alina: He's going to become diabetic at this rate.
occupation/class: Shaman(very skilled)
Secondary occupation/class: Fighter(very skilled)
Skills: Ever since he was found in the forest close by an abandoned
shrine, Michieru has some amazing abilities. For example, he can run
as fast as the wind, jump as high like a cat, and can hide very
Alina: He knows all the good hiding places - under the bed, in the broom closet, in the crawlspace under the stairs...
Kaiyu: NO ONE WILL FIND ME HERE BEHIND THIS TREE. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I TURNED OFF THE GIANT FLASHING SIGN OVER MY HEAD!
Since then, Michieru can also listen to as far about as ten
miles to whatever roams around. He can also craft weapons out of wood
and sometimes can bestow special abilites to them, like make them as
sharp as pure steal or as light as a feather to make it swing very
fast.No matter what the consequences are, Michieru always has a trick
up his sleave. (Details in story).
Alina: His weapons are truly a steal at 99.99.99!
Languages Spoken: all including elvish, common, Japanese, Druidic,
Facts: Michieru's Trainer was unknown even to this point in time.
This legendary trainer helped him train very exceptionally almost
like if he was trained by a god! Sometimes when Michieru trains on
his own, he could get a little sore but somehow can maintain his
Trained around the age of 3 ( When he was found) he went under
special errands to help increase both his strength and knowledge
Alina: "trained by a god!" HM. AM I DETECTING SOME HINTS HERE?
Kaiyu: "I want you to go down to the store and fetch daddy his SPECIAL medicine."
Relationships and Social info:
extended family: unknown
other: Arctic, both his falcon and friend.
Marital Status: Single.
Allegiance: The New Imperium
Religion: Nature Worship.
Alina: I really don't like the phrase "unknown" in RPG profiles.
Kaiyu: BUT IT LEAVES THE DOOR OPEN TO POSSIBILITY! HOW COULD U B SO STIFLING?!
Alina: That is exactly WHY I don't like them.
Much is still unknown about Michieru.
Alina: Any profile that starts out like this automatically FAILS in my brain.
Kaiyu: You're kidding me. AUGH.
Alina: Oh, no. There's lots more.
All that could be said about
him is that he was found near an abandoned shrine located deep in the
forests when he was about 3. A mysterious man came by while hiking on
a journey. He found a lost shrine and entered it. The rows were
covered with dust and a alter could be seen to the far north.
Alina: That's a damn big shrine.
Kaiyu: "Welcome to the Dead Sea, Serge!"
in a corner by the candles was Michieru. All he had was a blanket, a
worn out shirt, a bandanna around his forehead, and some water. He
looked very ill at this point. The stranger decided to take Michieru
under his wing and raise him like he was his own son. As weeks passed
by, Michieru became very well.
Alina: VERY well. Not just NORMAL well.
Kaiyu: How very brief.
Alina: There's more.
By the age of 8, he was unusually well
muscled for his age and was taught everything about nature including
the secret arts of shamanism.One day, the stranger decided to test
him by racing him across the meadow.To his surprise, Michieru could
run as fast as the wind without tiring.During meal time, the stranger
noticed that a strange glow was coming behind Michieru's bandanna.
Alina: He had the MARK OF THE MOON KINGDOM!!!
Kaiyu: Michieru in a Sailor Fuku is not a flattering image.
asked if he could remove it. To his surprise, he was stunned by the
mysterious scars on his forehead! He knew then that Michieru must be
one of the chosen warriors.He told him that he was a very special kid
who is truly destined to someday help others when the time comes.
Alina: This guy is striking me as being fairly important. Why doesn't he deserve a name? Or a place in the "relationships" section?
Kaiyu: BECAUSE NOT KNOWING LEAVES OPEN THE DOOR TO POSIT- I'll shut up.
Alina: *huggle* No, don't shut up. Then nothing witty would arise in our mockery. :c
But, he said that he has also been carrying a special armor for him
but the time is not right yet for him to use it's special powers. It
was at this point the stranger named him Michieru after one of the
legendary angels who battled a great evil and banished it into the
abyss for all eternity. He gave him a ring and a sword.
So for 5 years, he had no name. Oookay.
(Stranger with no name) Hey you! Kid-that-I-found-in-a-mysterious-bigass-shrine! Go get some food for your Surrogate-father-man-with-no-name!
Kaiyu: And thus began THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING.
warning, the stranger teleported him to the New Imperium academy. He
comes face to face with Lady Kayra and she instantly recognizes him.
She decided to take him under her wing and help him finish his
Alina: I assume that the rest is just to integrate him into the game. So it's okay. Unless the Imperium academy is an uber 1337 institution.
Kaiyu: (Lady Kayra) OH I KNOW YOU PERSON I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
Personality: Could be a bit humerous sometimes but remains serious.
likes: Candy, comics, making friends, and reading.
dislikes: homework, pranks
quirks: could sometimes get embarrased by girls who like to go out
with him.Even worse, his face would turn red with embarrasement to
show how badly embarrased he is.
Alina: I wonder if his nose bleeds when he gets dirty thoughts. This is anime, after all.
outlook on life: Can handle any problem no matter how tough it seems.
favorite clothing: His cape he was given as a Christmas present.
Important to remember: Michieru is indeed a true friend and a
protector to all who need help.
Alina: Christmas in Japan. *boggle* Definitely an anime.
Kaiyu: They do have Christmas in Japan. It's a lot more like Valentine's day, though.
Alina: But I got the impression that this takes place before the invasion of Western culture.
Alina: And it's grading time! 8D
Kaiyu: Eh. Burn. It's pointlessly stupid, and it baffled me to the point where I couldn't say anything witty about it. In any case, he's a typical twink.
Alina: I'm just going to give it an F. It didn't excessively infuriate me enough to warrant an F- except for his mysteriousness factor.