The Christian Elf

Profile written for the Demontears RPG. Commented on by Kaiyu and Alina.

Alina: Alrighty. So we being with....

Character Name: Katana Jade Willis (called Kat)
Age: 17
Race: Elf
Guild: Uhhh...
Religion: Protestant

Kaiyu: Okay.

Alina: A Protestant elf? That's somewhat...contradictory.

Kaiyu: A) Katana Jade Willis, and her sister Rapier Opal Gibson.

Alina: Sometimes called Dog.

Description: Waist length straight black hair, black eyes flecked with purple. Skin so pale it would seem that she had never seen the light of day, although she practicly lived outside. Slender and about 5 foot 3 inches.

Kaiyu: I fail to see how the Christian religion factors into a fantasy setting.

Alina: I don't think it does. Nor does "skin so pale you can see my blood vessels." Very sexy.

Kaiyu: This is obviously a Sue.

Alina: Obviously.

Carried Weapons: Sword at her side, dagger strapped to her shin, hidden by her knee height boots. Quiver of arrows and bow. Knife with a blade of diamond strapped to her arm, hidden by her sleeve.
Stored Weapons: none

Kaiyu: Usually within the first five or six lines we can tell if it's a Sue, a Twink, a Monstrosity, a General Bag of Shit, whatever.

Alina: *nodnod* Diamond blade? Okay. This chick's LOADED.

Kaiyu: Because all of those medieval elves had diamonds just lying around.

Alina: I can see a dwarf having them, or even an elf that spends a lot of time in caves. But not her.

Clothes New: Simple purple dress with large sleeves, black cloak, knee height leather boots lined with fur, silver cross close about her neck on a silver chain.
Clothes Stored: Black velvet guantlets, simple black dress, black cloak of velvet trimmed with ermine,

Alina: The only thing I have to comment about is the silver cross, for the aforementioned reasons.

Kaiyu: I have a comment.

Alina: Oh?

Kaiyu: If you're outside all of the fucking time and you're wearing velvet EVERYTHING, it better be really fucking cold where you are.

Alina: Maybe that's why her skin is so pale.

Kaiyu: Or maybe she was born without pigment.

Alina: This is also very possible.

Documents: none
Money: 4990 TP
Properties, Home: Silver cross on silver chain, golden goblet, golden circlet, big gold hoop earings, , saddle(for Kymo) without stirrups, bridle or reigns,

Alina: So basically, she owns a house and lots of gold/silver trinkets. And a piece of cloth for her horse.


Alina: Heeee.

Magic Skills: Can make plants grow, degrow(if you can think of a better word((not shrink)) please do tell me), or die in a matter of moments

Alina: She's the elvish weed whacker

Kaiyu: (Krista) Make it grow, Zack! Make it grow!
(Kat) Okay, now make it die. :o Or... un-grow. Whatever.

Battle Skills: Extremely fast archer, good swordanship,
Companion: Pure white hawk(named Cas),black war stallion(Named Kymo)
Important Experience: Plants, animals, battle, horse riding,
Other Items: Saddle bags(on horse, for carrying Kat's property), jesses for Cas

Kaiyu: She's Snow White, except without the stigma of being a woman and with a much worse name.

Alina: Dude, if she's a magical elf, why does she need those funky straps to keep her hawk tethered?

Kaiyu: And that's saying a lot, since "Snow White" is hardly impressive. Noun Adjective.

Alina: And so, we have grading time. I'm giving it a D-. There's SOME small substance. If she wants to be some kind of elvish ranger, power to her, she at least knows a little bit about horses and hawks. But she's got to lose all the idiotic stuff.

Kaiyu: D, yes. It's very insubstantial, and what substantialism it DOES have is straight from the land of 'tard.