Some Dumpster Shorts

Profiles are from an original Coven-type game, RPG, and a Final Fantasy VII RPG. Commented on by Madhatter and Alina.

Profile #1: Casino-Sacrificing Witch. Thanks to Jonna for the submission!

Alina: I got a short profile yesterday. We can do that unless you want to go fic-hunting.

Madhatter: We can do that real quick if you like.

Alina: Alrighty. This one's from an Original-witch-coven type game.

Name: Lily (last name unknown)
Age: 17


Madhatter: My name is Lily...Unknown.

Alina: Hi, Lily Unknown. I'm Frank Mysterious!

Madhatter: It's not unknowingly unknown that my name is Unknown, it is just simply...Unknown.

Alina: It's so dramatic.

Madhatter: Age 17...perfect age for most Mary Sues. But, I can live with it as long as she's not some child prodigy.

Alina: Old enough to be mature, young enough to be a teenager. Because once you hit 18, your life is over. If you haven't saved the world by the time you're 18, your life has been WASTED.

Appearnce: close as you can decribe is stunning. She has long slightly curly blond hair, violet eyes, 34C breasts along with lightly tanned skin, she is well toned her body moves with grace and her wardrobe is appropriate but always a bit seductive.

Madhatter: ....That first line makes me sick

Alina: C cup? Fuck, that's gotta hurt. She's Sarah Michelle Gellar with Tifa breasts.

Madhatter: I wear C cups. -_-

Alina: I'm flat, and happy.

Madhatter: *officially names her boobs Tifa*

Alina: *snicker*

Confession: she is a ceremonial witch who has sacrificed people on many occasinos she runs her coven and looks only for a way to end her own problems in life by the suffering of others after her parents died at an early age she has lived alone and stuck alone since she was 6 and after she was 10 she lived in her paretns huge mansion all alone the caretakers disapearing mysteriously.

Alina: She's sacrificed people in casinos! XD In the Casino at Oka! XDXD

Madhatter: AndshelikestotalkinneverendingsentenceswithnostructurewhatsoeverifyoucanreadthisIcommendyou.

Alina: Icansortareadthatforgreatyay!

Madhatter: I was thinking Cajuns when you said Casino.

Alina: The only acceptable phrase for me that can be thrown in with no punctuation is "yeasureyoubetcha."

Madhatter: I was like, "Yah, I sacrificed them to them damn Cajuns in that damn Louisiana swamp."

Alina: That's even worse than what I thought of. And that's the entire profile. So extensive and detailed, eh?

Madhatter: Lovely. It makes me so enthralled. I think my heart skipped a beat! Oh my! *sarcasm*

Alina: I give an F.

Madhatter: I give it an F also. No effort.

Alina: Because there's nothing really sporkworthy because it lacks any content whatsoever. You know.

Madhatter: Yah... I concur.

Profile #2: Advent Children Fanboy

name: Joshuah Valentine
age: 23
height: 6'5
appearance: Black long hair, green eyes, 123lbs, always wears black

Alina: 6'5 and 123'd be DEAD. So basically we have a dead man walking.

Madhatter: Well, he is wearing black, and in America that is a funerary color. XD

Alina: So he's a Westernite.

history: Born a clone of Vincent, Sepiroth, and Cloud.

Madhatter: Of course he really also doesn't describe what he wears, so far all we know it can be a thong and a black leather collar.

Alina: I'll vote yes for that! 8D j/k Who is this Sepiroth dude?

Madhatter: -_- He did not just go there.

Alina: He did. This is why I like the reject button.

Madhatter: And for that he should be mutilated on the spot.

Alina: Or at least thwapped over the head with a book. Or with a ruler.

He grew up not knowing a purpose. After Sepiroth was killed he wandered around, drifting from place to place. He attained the better qaulities of his DNA doners. He kept quite a bit of Vincent's personallity, He has Cloud's courage, and of course Sepiroth's ruthlessness. Despite his methods he remains a hero
weapon: various guns

Madhatter: I say make it an iron golf club.

Alina: That's the whole profile. One word. LMAO.

Madhatter: Dear god. -_- Someone's been watching Advent Children a biiittt too much.

Alina: He must be infatuated with all the Sephy clone people.

Madhatter: Major concurrence.

Alina: And so my Grade: F. It made me laugh, so it's saved from a burnination.

Madhatter: Yah, it was too short to really be anything else. Not much thought either. F it is.