Alina says: BADFIC!
Kaiyu says: *Wishes he had eyes to claw out*
Alina says: You poor creature. *Consoles Kaiyu*
Standing on top of the tree limb Elania was peering at the tower with aww, she never seen this before and was pure amazement.
Kaiyu says: What a cute tower!
Alina says: "I've never seen one of those before!"
Kaiyu says: And here returns the horrible grammar.
Alina says: And I'll look at it with awww....
She looked down towards the ground and could sorta see the entrance, it sight guarded form the horizon of the tower, but the light that emitted form it shown. She saw what looks like guard and what ever that was kept hear must be important. She scanned from the bottom and made her way at the top.
Kaiyu says: All your guard are belong to us! You have no chance to survive kill your Jumi.
Alina says: I sight the horizon from which light emitted is shown....guard the hear!
She almost stumbled and fell of the limb once her midnight blue eyes met something so kind and warm. The scarlet eyes looked dead into her eyes of night. Fear crept into her heart but, looking to the scarlet eyes gave her a comfort.
Alina says: (Elania) Check the bottom for danger, head in the opposite direction!
Kaiyu says: She fell into an owl's nest.
Alina says: Or she saw someone that was stoned and had glow-in-the-dark eyes.
Kaiyu says: This profile hurts my brain.
Alina says: Is this a tale of woeful love?
Kaiyu says: Why, yes, it appears to be so. This Badfic hurts my brain.
Alina says: Did you ever read New Destiny?
Kaiyu says: No. o.o
Alina says: Don't.
She felt a strong pull and before she knew it she found herself staring face to face in those scarlet jewels. Not a word passed her lips as this trance lasted what seemed like eternity.
Alina says: Damn it.
Kaiyu says: And I thought she was looking at eyes. She's fantasizing about that spear again.
Alina says: And without another thought, she gouged out the person's eyes and embedded them in her sword so she might stare at them all the time.
"He..llo." She said in a stuttered voice not knowing the reaction of the person. But she managed to pry her eyes off his and knoticed his features. He had straight purple hair almost like hers but was a bit lighter. His body was wrapped int elegant clothing fit for a king or someone of high nobility. And above his heart she could see an amethyst embedded onto his core.
Alina says: This man has been twisted into a pretzel by some form of machinery? Wow, just SO attractive. I cannot resist the curves of the knots.
Kaiyu says: I thought her hair was pink.
Alina says: Magenta can go either way, I suppose. But magenta isn't pink either. It's MAGENTA. Not purple...not pink....MAGENTA.
"I am sorry for disturbing you i did-"
"My name is Amiko Thesyr. Yours?"
"Mine? My name? Why have I forgotten my name?" She said with a worried voice.
"How can someone forget there name?"
Alina says:Because they're retarded?
Kaiyu says: Do people really talk like this?
Alina says: Only in harlequin romances.
Kaiyu says: Just drop her off the building, pansy. You'll do us all a favor.
Alina says: I know...I'm sure she wants to go DOWN the phallic imagery.
"I sound silly don't I? Please don't mock me! For I am an elf."
Kaiyu says: *Just gapes at this statement, finds it hilarious*
Alina says:
Silly elf, you're a Sue! That supersedes EVERYTHING! It is funny!
"Please don't make fun of me! I'm rich!"
Kaiyu says: Sue, then Elf, THEN goddess. Then Genie-pants aficionado.
Alina says: "Please don't make fun of me! I'm magenta! and I have midnight blue eyes!"
"It is sorta silly isn't it? An elf with no name?"
"..........My name....is Elania....Elania Asura"
"Now that wasn't to hard now was it?"
Alina says: This man has obviously never encountered a Sue.
Kaiyu says: Poor thing.
Alina says: And I'm very curious to understand how someone who looks like she's going to fall in love with a Jumi (I think he's a Jumi) will end up hunting them and sticking them into the materia slots of her weapon.
Kaiyu says: This guy is apparently the Clarius. The Clarius is a figure of major importance. He cries.
Alina says: O....kay....
Kaiyu says: Normal Jumis can't cry, so he cries for them, and it keeps them alive. The tears have some sort of magical power. *Shrugs* It's canon.
They began to talk for what seemed like hours on hours all into the night. She not knowing he was the clarius, or she just didn't want to accept the fact he was. After some long good-byes she vowed to return again. She did eventually find out when he told her one night. That he unlike many other jumi's had the gift of crying. She was perplexed on how crying could be a gift.
Kaiyu says: Oh, the horrid grammar kills my brain.
Alina says: So she's automatically assuming a relationship with a canon character without checking to see if you're allowed. That's not smart no matter what fandom you're writing for.
Kaiyu says: HE's not canon, but his position is. But it's still really sad.
Alina says:
Ok. Thank you for clearing that up. What did they talk about? Who knows. Maybe
stripteases and phallic imagery. And what the colour magenta is - purple or
pink?
(Clarius) Purple!
(Elania) Pink!
(Clarius) Purple!
(Elania) Pink!
(and so on and so forth).
Kaiyu says: Sometimes it seems like a curse.
Soon days turned to months and months turned to years. Each visiting she can feel his life force more depleted, she knew what was soon to come. Yet she denied it and buried it deep inside.
"Come away with me! Please! Amiko! Why must you be a prisoner here? You must know my feelings toward you? Like I know yours. Why do we deny it?!"
Kaiyu says: I know what else seems like a curse. >_o
Alina says: The changing tenses are a curse. Is it really so hard to just PICK one and stick to it? And who the fuck's Amiko?
Kaiyu says: The Clarius dude, methinks.
"Hush not so loud. You know I have my duties here....once my hundred years are up I will go with you, and we can be together always."
"Can you make it that long?"
"I have been OK 58 years and it seems like I can push out another 42."
Kaiyu says: He pushed them out, not unlike squeezing a watermelon from his nose.
Alina says: Hi, my name is Elena. But please call me Joseph Conrad.
"Why do I feel dought. I feel you slipp-"
He put his hand over her mouth before she could finish.
"Trust me. One day you can show me the world, like you always wanted."
" Yes....."
Kaiyu says: Dought? What the hell was he trying to spell...?
Alina says: *Grabs a dictionary*
Kaiyu says: Why do I feel- D'OH! Homer Simpson in Mary Sue Goddess in genie Pants form!
Alina says: Doughty: valiant, stouthearted. And used completely out of context. Not to be confused with dough.
Kaiyu says: I think he meant doubt, but I'm not sure.
Yet sadly it was not to be, for 38 years later.........
Unknowingly on this visit it would be her last she was sitting at the edge of the balcony talking by then she out right ignored the slipping life force of his and refused to believe. He had only 4 years to go.
"Is that your new bit of poetry today? I find poetry so-"
"I want to give you these....." He said as he handed her a 2 books.
Kaiyu says: DAMMIT! LEARN BASIC GRAMMAR FOR GODSAKE! DON'T YOU KNOW THE PAIN IT CAUSES ME!?
Alina says: That entire sentence is next to incomprehensible.
Kaiyu says: And A two books.
Alina says: Can't we GET ON with it? He dies, she gets angry, the end.
"No, I can't accept them. This is your diary and your poems" she said as she handed it back to him but he tried to push them back to her and she put more strength on it and found out how weak he was. She caught him before he hit the ground.
"You are so tired to day? How many tears did they have you shedd-"
"Elania....I hav-"
Alina says: She caused the books to shove him onto the ground.
Kaiyu says: Maybe if I go rent a movie or read a book I can come back at the tail end of this crapfest.
Alina says: Maybe. I think I'll watch "Program" again while we wait 20 minutes for Clarius to die. These run-on sentences are really bad. Is is all one paragraph as well?
Kaiyu says: And all the sentences ending in Dashes! Why can't they stop interrupting each other? It's damn impolite.
"Off to bed with you! You must have your sleep, I can't believe how weak you are." She helped him balance onto her and helped him on his bed.
"Now I will see you tomorrow. Have a good-"
"Elania listen...."
"No buts now Amiko! You need your rest."
"I am sorry Elania."
Alina says: Sues are allowed to be impolite.
Kaiyu says: *Rubs head* It goes on like this for a while now.
"What do you mean?"
"I hate to be a liar.......i am sorry I lied."
"You never lied to me." Elenia almost stuttered there as a fear crept into her heart.
Alina says: She would soon have to confess that she knew not how to spell her own name.
"You don't mean! No! No! NO! Four more years left!!! Four more and we can finally be together! WE will see the world! Together! Plea-"
Alina says: *Groans* And I thought watching Morpheus have sex with Neo through a grammatical error was bad.
Kaiyu says: Hey, that doesn't sound so bad.
Alina says: No, it's not so bad in comparison to this never-ending profile parading as a fic. Back on-topic: Yeesh, you think he KNOWS when he's going to die on the nosy? What the hell?
Kaiyu says: There's PAGES left of his death scene.
Alina says:....Are you serious?
"I am sorry Elania....but I won't make it.....i know you can feel it. I won't deny my fate. I dought I will make it to the next hour. Luckily they already found a replacement for me...I can go with ease...but I wanted to say-"
"NO! NO! NO good byes! Please I beg of you! Fight! Fight!" Tears started roll down her eyes as she looked into his.
Kaiyu says: YES! YES! YES GOODBYES.
Alina says: We wanted a summary of your characters history. Not a complete, unedited biography! Not the Obsournes -camera in your face every second!
"Elania...I never said this but...I love you. Please don't forget me."
"I love you too...DO YOU HEAR ME?! I love you!!! So please just hang on for a little longer! Please I beg of you!! PLEASE!!"
"You don't no how long I want to hear that."
She saw a tear starting to form in his eye and she began to shake him.
Alina says:
There isn't even a hint of WHY the two fell in love!
"I want to hear you BEG forever! Hahaha!"
Kaiyu says: I can't tell if this was meant to be emotional and tearjerking or painful and suicide inducing.
Alina says: "Show me weakness...bitch!" *Whip cracks*
"No! No! Save your strength, don't waist it on me! Please!"
He hugged her and put his head on her shoulders and she hugged him back.
"I always loved you, for the very first moment I laid eyes on you, I fell in love. You made my life so happy...you made my loneliness go away..."
Alina says: At least there' s no sappy music accompaniment. They saw each other...how often?
Kaiyu says: There is, actually. Maddie says there was a midi attachment to the file.
Alina says: Oh God.....There's death music included. They saw each other...how often?
Kaiyu says: Well, a lot. They knew each other for 38 years, I guess.
"I as well loved you since the beginning. I felt this day will come...but..i refused to believe it. Why did you have give your life away?! Why couldn't you just have been with me? You gave meaning to my life....I never felt such a warm soul like yours. Now I will be forever cold with your fire gone. Amiko....please wait for me, don't move on to the next life without me....Amiko...I love you...I will always love you."
"I won't move on without you...I will be waiting with Aion. Elania...before I die....please...let me fly with you....I always wanted to fly with you.."
Alina says: So....where's this cold-hearted bitch I've bee hearing about? The one who has no emotions, who likes killing stuff?
Kaiyu says: I don't know. I think she's putting on her genie pants.
"Of course...."
She scooped him up with her arms and hurried to the ledge of the balcony where she flew into the moonlight. They both glittered like angels in the light of the full moon. She stopped in flight and was hovering straight in the air.
"Ahhh what a beautiful night...Elania...The wind feels so great....my poems could never describe such a feeling of freedom."
Alina says: "AND FLY....away from here, anywhere....yea I don't care!" *Aerosmith blasts in the background*
Kaiyu says: Well duh, it was all high-school quality angst Goth poetry...Do angels glitter? Glitter isn't even a VERB.
Alina says: Only the ones that are cheap Christmas decorations.
Elania held him close to her body and could feel how cold he was, tears began to form in her eyes. With his last bit of strength he whispered in her ears.
"This is not a good bye...but seeya later...I will wait for you....Elania...Thank..you..for your love......i always thought before you came I would die alone...Elania...don't forget me...I love you."
"I Love you too..Amiko..I love you."
Kaiyu says: "Seeya later" was not period dialogue, I assume.
Alina says: Repetitive waste of disk space.
A tear shed from Amiko and it glittered with such radiance. It began to harden into a crystal as it fell down his cheeks and onto Elania's breast. When the tear hit her she began to shine with a brilliant light. A great warmth took her and she felt so nostalgic. Her body felt like it was brand new. Was this presence Amiko's?
She looked deep into his eyes and his hers and they both smiled.
Kaiyu says: *Rips out hair* Make it fawking END.
Alina says: Awww....she took his soul away and prevented it from seeking eternal repose. How romantic.
A second later she felt his core crack.
"Amiko....Amiko....Amiko....I love you..I LOVE YOU!!! Don't leave me alone....how will I live without your love?"
She began to slowly fall. Fall towards the darkness on the ground.
Alina says: Yes! Fall! Die!
Kaiyu says: One step ahead of you. *Tightens noose*
Did the people at the tower know of her? Have Amiko told? She never knew how she took him so easily maybe they knew all along of there forbidden love. Elania cried all the all of the night.
She decided to cremate the body. Before it was done she wanted to take something to remember him by. Knowing the crystal core of his won't be burnt away she took that off his body.
Alina says: Have Amiko told? She never knew how she took him so easily maybe they knew all along of there forbidden love. Okay, ONE, there was NOTHING to suggest that it was a forbidden love. I NEVER assume shit like that for the sake of it. TWO, there's only ONE Amiko-Clarius dude, so "HAD he told", not HAVE. thirdly....She never knew how what?! God, it's illegible!
Kaiyu says: This is worse than the first one.
Alina says: I know!
Kaiyu says: At least it's not fucking blue.
Alina says: No, it's a varying shade of magenta today.
Then she when on to cremating him. With only ashes left she took them upon her hand and let the wind take it away. Away towards the setting sun.
Alina says: Are we done mourning over the vague lover? Seriously, her yellow shirt was more detailed than this.
Kaiyu says: We are, actually.
((OK end of the story like part...if I continue like this I would be go on forever >.>))
Kaiyu says: It already DID. We're OLD.
Alina says: I'm tired!
Kaiyu says: We're heavily medicated, now. We spent our youth WASTING TIME ON THIS PROFILE.
She moved back to Geo after the death and began to study more. Over the years though, her sadness turned into anger and anger to hatred. She began to despise the jumi race for how they drained Amiko of his life just to prolong there own lives. One day she knew it was time for revenge.
Alina says: Yea, I'm sure Amiko will really find the assassination of his entire race a fitting way to respect his memory. Do these tear people do that by choice?
Kaiyu says: No. It's sort of involuntary servitude, but everyone loves them for it.
Alina says: Okay. If they had done it by choice, it would have been a LOT worse. But I didn't get the impression that Amiko HATED his kind for doing this to him. So there is no real motive for revenge. The only person I really feel pity for here is the moderator that got this stinky extended profile-fic thing. And maybe Amiko to a lesser extent.
Kaiyu says: Poor Maddie. She gets tons of these.
That is where her killing spree began. She would sell the cores in the black market and fetch a high price. She did have a thing for money and hunting jumi's were not a cheap thing. i hoped you liked it because i am flat out tired of writing x.x
Kaiyu says: We're tired too. But guess what?
Alina says: Lame ending. "She started killing stuff. The End."
Kaiyu says: Even after THAT, it's not done!
Alina says: Oi. Just when I was starting to relax.
Oh...Elania did lose her memory at one point when she was fighting a mage 14 years and was changed into a baby when she killed him. Luckily she was found by some passing mages and she then was raised in Geo where she became a student there and met Amarzion.
Kaiyu says: *Stabs self in the eye... sockets*
Alina says: WTF does this have to do with anything? It's just a random plot device that TRIES to make her look cooler. It makes no sense! Now, in theory, she wouldn't remember WHY she wants revenge, unless she tattooed herself like the protagonist in Momento.
Kaiyu says: I think this is possibly one of the worst profiles I have ever seen. I think it may be worse than a Sera. At least Sera did it quick.
Alina says: No, Seras are absolute worsts.
In an unfortunate accident with a spell she then got a serious head concussion. She then was sealed in a crystal which would keep her alive until a cure can be found. Amar set out to find one. But a year after he left the curse began to loose the affect and soon it lost total effect and her body sorta began to rewind to how it was before the fight with the mage.
Kaiyu says: Uh, what?
Alina says: LOSE THE EFFECT. She even uses effect five words later! This is so stupid. It really does read like a badfic.
She then left to finish her vendetta. She soon met a strange person who would give her a deal she couldn't refuse. She would get to hunt some jumi's and get paid a nice price for it too , even though she would have to work under one he was a clarius and was exempt form her hatred.
Kaiyu says: I'm not sure what fucking happened here.
Alina says: I think she starts to work for a crying Jumi and decides not to kill him because he cries.
Kaiyu says: I know this, but... Everything before that. I'm lost.
Alina says: I...don't know. I classify things in terms of their importance.
Also she was beginning to get bored with jumi's, it was just getting to easy so maybe this would give her the challenge she needs. God i am sick of typing so i will stop here x.x*
Kaiyu says: Killing peaceful, harmless people is relatively easy, I suppose.
Alina says: This is my classification: Born, goes somewhere, meets guy, guy dies (important), rage (important), followed by some random plot devices. Even the author is tired of this thing. That's not a good sign.
Kaiyu says: Where does the baby thing tie in?
Alina says: It doesn't. It's just there to inform you that she had a life outside of her lover and revenge-wanting and murdering innocent Jumis.
alignment: Bad (( Well bad for jumi's )) :)
Kaiyu says: Stop with the damn smileys dammit. Just stop. Smileys have no place in profiles.
Alina says: BadGood alignment. She's bad....but not because she's justified! Hence she is good, really!
Little tidbits: She wears a golden amulet with a cracked amethyst jumi core embedded in the middle. Also she is known to put stones in where the jumi's core once have been and engraved would be the total number of her kill count. Also she leaves a poem to the victim written in elvick before she hunts them. Only thing in that she leaves non elvick is her signature, Asure.
Alina says: People: Don't include the tidbits. Nobody gives a damn.
Kaiyu says: ............Elvick?
Alina says:
That is really sad. She can't even decide what race she is, or spell its terminology
properly. She's of the race of Elves when they hiccup?
As-hic-u-hic-re-hic!
Writing sample: Maddie you said I did not need one .
Alina says: WHAT? Yes you do! You can't write!
Kaiyu says: But you provided one anyway! How thoughtful. >_o He could have put it here, but NO.
Alina says: It would have been too much to ask to divide a paragraph.
Kaiyu says: Let's grade this puppy.
Alina says: F. Mary Sue gone wild, pays no attention to the game world, is cheap, bad grammar, too freaking long, and reads like a shitty Harlequin romance. Its only redeeming quality is that it doesn't abuse the canon or the canon characters in any severe way. But Elania is still degrading to the world. Kaiyu?
Kaiyu says: *Rubs head* This is one of the worst things I've ever seen. If I had eyes anymore, I would be crying. Bonfire.