Profile written for a Final Fantasy X RPG. Commented on by Alina and Mandi.
Mandi: I have a real bad profile for you. -_-
Alina: Oooh? For what kind of RPG was it submitted?
Mandi: FF 10, but not mine. It isn't my game though. So..I dunno if I should. BUT IT'S SO BAD.
Alina: Meh. I don't care. If the GM asks me later to take it down, I'll consider it. Would you like to trash it with me now?
Mandi: Just, LOOK AT THIS.
Name: Lobo Oscuro/Dark Wolf
Race: Human/Unknown
Hair: Smoke Wisp gray/Metallic Silver
Eyes: Wolf Gold
Height: 5’7”
Weight: 150 w/Armor & weapons, 110 w/ normal cloths
Alina: I wonder what the heck 'wolf gold' is.
Mandi: Not too sure. Thinking it's...like...some different form of Gold...when gold is gold...and wolves don't have gold...so...Ya, I'm at a loss.
Alina: Lobo Oscuro. I guess what he was going for was some sort of pseudo-Latin that said "Dark Wolf". This is why you don't pretend to know a language.
Mandi: I thought his name sounded like a cheap attempt at a prescription drug.
Alina: For reference, it should be.....Lupin Obscuro, I believe.
Mandi: Lupus is wolf, I believe.
Alina: Yea, I got my declensions messed up. Lupus Obscuro. So his 'other race'....might be WOLF? I sense a werewolf in a non-werewolf universe. Bad bad bad.
Mandi: Or rabid evil dog.
Alina: Maybe his name could be a prescription for a cure for rabies. XD
Mandi: That makes so much SENSE. PRESCRIBE LOBO OSCURO, STAT! Yes, so the consensus: His name sucks.
Alina: Agreed.
Mandi: Now please explain what Smoke Wisp gray/Metallic Silver.
Alina: Sueness trait?
Mandi: By far, yes
Alina: It has to be some obscure adjective that goes with grey so that no one else (in theory) will have the same shade of hair as him?
Mandi: I always pictured some old guy with long gray hair and tinsel taped to it...You know, trying to be different, but failing miserably.
Alina:
Yea.
Weight: 150 w/Armor & weapons, 110 w/ normal cloths
150 what? stones? potatoes? shoes? And I didn't know a cloth that wasn't normal.
Mandi: It's titanium cloth. That's abnormal. I looked up the weight chart...if we 'assume' he means pounds, he's so underweight he should blow away in the wind and snap in half
Alina: *thinks* he probably is. I'm 5'9" and about 125 lbs. *constructs a fan and turns it on*
Mandi: *watches as Lobo folds up and flies away* He hasta be at least 120, at the least, and that's a SMALL frame.
Alina: Yea. Moving along! I can't wait to see the rest.
Personality: Mostly Loner, cold towards most he meets, Sometimes highly aggressive but helpful. Distant at times his fierce fighting nature and determined spirit makes him a force to be weary of even to the most powerful of foes. Dark as he might look and try to act he is a totally deferent person if you get close enough to his heart for him to trust you.
Mandi: *ALARM* Loner.
Alina: With the little hint: he WANTS you to come after him and convert him into socialdom. I say we leave him to his lonerness.
Mandi: Agreed. However...I have yet to figure out what a 'deferent' person is.
Alina: deferent - meaning he sends you to someone else, like in defer?
Mandi: So if you trusts you, he defers you away to someone else?
Alina: Basically. Thus maintaining the LONER personality.
Mandi: At least he's consistent.
Alina: True. I say we let him play little loner - and if I were in the game, I'd ignore him, as his loner personality demands.
Mandi: I like that idea. I mean...if you're gonna be a deferring loner, play the part.
Clothing Description: Black Horned Wolf Mask, Black Leather Trench coat with a pilt down the middle starting at the lower back, Black Shoulder pads, Black gantlets, Black body armor, Black Jump suit, gold buckle belt, Black Heavy boots. Just imagine Zen’Aku from PPWF
Mandi: I wonder if you can see him at night...
Alina: Lots of Black (with capitals!). And here we have a random reference to some character I've never heard of. Very helpful. Not.
Mandi: Which shows a slight lack of originality...cause he tries to describe, fails, and ends up jacking another description from another character.
Alina: And how can a wolf mask be horned? *tries to imagine a horned wolf mask*
Mandi: The wolf mated with a cow, perhaps? THAT's it. He's Human/Cow-Wolf.
Alina: It's coming together. Well, at least he won't be conspicuous walking down the streets of Luca or anything, being dressed all in black like the Reaper and all. He certainly knows how to blend in.
Mandi: With his horned mask, too, that won't attract attention. Well done, Lobo. The loner blends in...
Alina: As much as a grapefruit in a sea of grapes.
Weapon of Choice: Crescent Blade, Crescent Dagger/Flute
Alina: So he can stab things with it, then stick it in his mouth and blow into it, thus slicing his tongue?
Mandi: Now, what he FORGOT to mention (which showed up as he played the character) was that his little flute thing can summons grand storms, and he can control lightening and winds with each note.
Alina: Umm....that's SLIGHTLY important. Also known as "I forgot so that I could get away with it."
Mandi: A storm grand enough that it burned down half of Besaid. And here we thought he just liked blowing sharp objects.
Alina: Is there a rule in this game about destroying towns? (This guy has Twink Godmoder all over him.)
Mandi: No real rule...I mean, he left the temple standing. And one boat in the harbour. I mean, he was so merciful....
Alina: Oh. I'm sorry. That makes EVERYTHING all better. x_x
Mandi: Ready for his oh-so-special history?
Alina: *breaks out a gun* Oh yes.
History: Lobo has always been a wandering soul as far back as he can remember. is memory not all there, some too foggy to remember and other just blank and gaps. Living the life of a wandering fighter there is much in the world he does not understand, nor does he wish to understand. Not knowing where he comes from nor knowing how he claimed his weapons the world around him is as cold as he acts. Living for the moment he does not remember his child hood, or his parents, yet along what world he is on or realm he is in.
Alina: *falls over* What a freaking cop-out history. What does it tell me once you sift through all the bullshit? Lobo is a loner. The end. Oh, and he's setting himself up to be a dream of the Fayth, too.
Mandi: I kinda don't understand most of it...I get lost in the deciphering the Engrish.
Alina: Yea. Tons of sentence fragments. He probably thinks they make him look cool. But Dude! It's not like he can't say something like, "he was born here, blabla bla, but he doesn't remember any of this because of his bad amnesia plot device!"
Mandi: Something he also didn't mention: He hates temples, wants to burn them all, kill all the priests and stuff.
Alina: Any reason for this? Or just because?
Mandi: Just a random thing that popped up in a post.
Alina: Okay....he seems to be making this up as he goes along. I wish I were the mod of this game, I'd shoot him.
Mandi: That's too nice.
Alina: I'm a kind soul. Most of the time.
Mandi: Be unkind to this guy...for me. Just think of the Latin slaughtering.
Alina: That's enough to make my eye twitch with annoyance. Is that the entire profile?
Mandi: Ya, that's the whole thing.
Alina: Then my grade: F. It doesn't get a burn because it doesn't insult the game world, although I must say there's almost nothing in there. But it's a really annoying cop-out profile. If the dude actually gave a damn, he would have put some more thought into this. Given the bad Latin, bad choice of clothing, and nonexistent history, he didn't turn his brain on when he wrote this.
Mandi:
Agreed. No thought, total cop-off, and he's empty, boring and...dumb.