Profile written for a Digimon RPG. Commented on by Kaiyu and Maddie.
Alina: Now the biggest problem with this profile is...well, it's kind of obvious.
Mark Micholson
11
Jan. 23 1991
none
mom:Janice
dad:John
Granger EL.
Alina: First of all: The Grammar Police shall now fine you 6,000 rupees for the lack of capitalisation.
Madhatter: Ummm where's the stuff to uh, ya know, identify what the hell is what? Has he no tact? It's like a jumbled up...THING!
Alina: That's the problem with the profile. He didn't include any of it.
Madhatter: I believe he thinks we are all mind readers.
Alina: I mean, at least with most of THESE entries you can kind of figure out what's what. Mother and Father are evident. But then we get to this:
Everything
none
singing
none
pizza
spinich
math
none
school
bullies
singing, reading,hanging with friends
girls
friends
Alina: Let's make up categories.
Madhatter: YAY! Sounds like fun!
Alina:
Known personality disorders: EVERYTHING.
Known intelligence: NONE.
Madhatter:
Lack of talent: Singing!
Common sense: None!
Alina:
Hates: Pizza
Loves: Spinich, the Spinach substitute.
Madhatter: Does not comprehend: Math. (Even I don't comprehend that one.)
Alina: I don't think he comprehends anything.
Madhatter: Clothing: None!
Alina: *laugh* It's a nudist!
Madhatter: Woo woo! *whistles*
Alina: Is sexually attracted to: bullies.
Madhatter: Avoids singing, reading,hanging with friends
Alina: Will never sleep with: girls
Madhatter: Dreams about having: friends
Alina: Heee. It's like mad libs, only more amusing.
5"7' tall ,short black hair ,blue school uniform, wears jeans and T-Shirt
on week-ends and after school hope
perky happy always hopful
born in California grew up in Colorado
Alina: What's "after school hope"? Some kind of cheesy after-school special from the eighties with bad disco music by David Bowie?
Madhatter: He has 5'7'' tall short hair. I don't know how that's possible, but I'd like to have it.
Alina: And, even assuming we consider the 5'7" as his height, he's still REALLY tall for an eleven year old. I'm 5'9"! It seems no one taught him any punctuation or capitalization whatsoever. Look kid, you aren't e.e. cummings, who was the only man on earth who could get away with that! So suck it up!
Madhatter: Wears jeans and t-shirts after school and on the weekends, and on Halloween, and some homo erortic sexual parties, and fetish parties... and no friend parties... and likes to take bath in pepto bismol while having his tongue shaved.
Alina: I guess "hopful" means he's always hopping around. Maybe he aspires to be a rabbit.
Madhatter: Or a basketball. After all, he loves bullies, right? (If no one get's this reference please go to Cartoon Network and watch old cartoons featuring Bugs Bunny or any other Loony Toons characters...)
Alina: Lastly is, I guess, his Digimon choice.
Poyomon
Tokomon-bubble blow
Patamon-boom bubble
Angemon-hand of faith/angel's staff
Magna Angemon-gate of destiny
Seraphimon-seven heaven/testament
Madhatter: Oh yah. He's creative. See my subtleness? It makes things funny.
Alina: Yes......*laugh* I think I saw maybe 3 episodes of Digimon, but isn't the Patamon-Angemon digimon kind of...important and SPESUL?
Madhatter: Bwar har har har har!
Alina: Bottom line: Uh...no.
Madhatter:
RULE NumBA 1 OF ANY RPG playing thing FOOOO's! *voiced by Mr. T* Make your profiles
make sense!
RULE NUMBA 2 FOO's! Make your profile detailed and well written!
Alina: Rule NUMBA TREE: At least TRY to look like you're making an effort. Please. Really. While this profile doesn't particularly insult me, it's annoying. F, if not a Bonfire.
Madhatter: I say Bonfire. Lack of...well...EVERYTHING.
Alina: Lack of brain.