Part Two

*Kaiyu joins the fun!*

Alina: Chapter 2...muahaha...Kaiyu, this is Gypsy. Gypsy, Kaiyu.

Kaiyu: Hi, Gypsy!

Alina: I'll start pasting the gem. *snickers*

Gypsy: Alright.

Chapter 2: Neo is what dreams are made of

Alina: And Trinity is your worst nightmare. There's a good reason for this.

Gypsy: Oh CAAAAM!

Alina: Sexy, sexy CAM. *dies* Hell, sexy sexy Keanu!

I cant breath at all now, and everything starts to go black, the only thing I can think about right now it mom and not getting to sleep with Tom


Alina: Gee, not much going on in there, is there? (Mommy! Sex! Mommy! Sex!)

Kaiyu: WELL, GOOD FOR YOU! Has she even met this guy?

Alina: I don't think so.

Gypsy: Mommy wants 'teh tommy'.

Kaiyu: I like how this is a female character written by a male, and that he obviously did a LOT of research into how the female mind works.

Alina: *worried* You're being sarcastic, right Kaiyu?

Kaiyu: Of course. T_T

Alina: Just checking. You know me.

Gypsy: Haha.

I look to my left and see myself in a mirror on the wall and see that my face it a dark purple color, Im getting cold, I try to get his hands off me

be clawing at his arms but im too weak. I then hear the sound of a car crash into the starbucks, although I cant really see it, Is it long and black. A woman

walks out and starts to run toward Frankie and I.

Gypsy: How is a woman long?

Alina: Gee, I wonder who THIS is. [/sarcasm].

Gypsy: Purple. Only a Sue can turn PURPLE.

Alina: And still make it look sexy on top of it! She's a Sera!

Alina: "Get his hands off me, BE clawing", stupid language. It claws when it's angry. And then you have to feed it treats to keep it happy!

Kaiyu: ARRRGH.

Alina: Wow. It only took 5 lines for Kaiyu to snap.

Kaiyu: The car crashed INTO the Starbucks? Oh well. A new one will be built five minutes later.

Gypsy: Dude, you could have just driven AROUND.

Alina: Maybe the driver really, really, really wanted coffee.

Gypsy: Tall black coffee for a long black woman!

He then pulls out a gun and shots Frankie in the arm. The bullet is so fast

Alina: Ever hear of a slow bullet? Anyone?

it rips through both his arms

and he then drops me and lets me go. He look at up that woman and he lets out a loud yell. He then starts to charge her and as soon as he gets within hitting

distance she shoots him in the head.


Gypsy: Poor ugly bastard.

Kaiyu: Okay. I don't know how to look at this. It's bad enough killing a canon character, but when you get into killing real people... uh... o.o

Gypsy: And it's even worse having a canon character kill someone real. He just HAD to kill that Sue.

Kaiyu: And Frankie is what? Twelve?

Alina: He's gotta be older than the characters he portrays.

I then look up at her laying on the ground catching my breath. She then looks at me and says “come on, we don’t have

much time...” she looks from her left then to her right. She then looks up and with a one quick motion she grabs me and starts to pull me into the car.

Alina: Meanwhile, in her mind, Hilary is thinking: Sex! Tom Welling! Mommy!

Kaiyu: Left to right! Side to side!

Alina: And shake it all about!

Kaiyu: Teach me, teach me, teach me the electric slide!

Gyspy: So why is she lying on the ground (the long black lady)? Always look both ways before crossing the street.

Alina: And yes, no one will notice the car that just crashed into a Starbucks leaving the scene.

Gypsy: You're supposed to assume (since it's the Matrix) that everything happens at midnight.

Kaiyu: Frankie was out past his bedtime.

Alina: At a Starbucks.


cant talk yet because I am still gaging and gaping for air.

Kaiyu: She's gagging? Oh, she gave Frankie another quick blow job, I assume.

Gypsy: One for the road!

I look back at Frankie and see the blood flowing out of his head and I wonder who’s going to star

in the next Copy Banks movie beside him. She throws me in the back of the car and as we pull out I look up and see a big explosion in the back room as we

start to drive a way I can’t help but wonder what’s going on.

Alina: I don't know what the heck is going on anymore.

Gypsy: Copy Banks, yes, a very popular movie. Ooh, look! An explosion!

Kaiyu: Yeah. Who's going to star opposite the CORPSE?

Gypsy: This guy gets shot for trying to kill you for no reason and all you can think about is the stupid movie you didn't even want to film?

The woman pulls out a cell phone and then says in a worried voice “how far am I away from an

exit?” I look out the window, my breath has totally returned to me and now I start to clear my tarot.

Gypsy: So she's clairvoyant too?

Alina: (Hilary) Hmm...3 of Pentacles...certain doom awaits you all!

Kaiyu: The car has doors, doesn't it?

Alina: Maybe the childproof lock is on.

Kaiyu: (Breath) Hi, Hilary. The author made me come back. He said I couldnt leave the fic.

I see a man start to run toward the car, I then look

out the back window and see he is getting faster and faster. Looking at the mph we are going I see we are doing 80 so I don’t see how this is possible. The

woman tells me to get down and I ask her “who are, what’s happening?” Her hand grabs me and throws me to the leather seat and bullets fire and break the wind

shield. I scream.

Alina: Who's driving?! If the tall lady's shooting and shoving Hilary into the back, when who's driving the car?

Kaiyu: "Who are what's happening? SOMEONE SET US UP THE BOMB!"

Gypsy: "[B]reak the wind"? So the bullets *fart*? How do bullets fart?

Alina: They implode with a bad scent from the gunpowder!

Kaiyu: I'm preemptively giving this at least an F because she killed Frankie Muniz. Or He. Whatever.

We make a quick left and a quick right before she starts to talk to me. She tells me “My name is Trinity, I am going to take you to where

you will be safe.” “Safe from what?!?” I ask. Right before she answers me question a man in a black suite jumps on the hood of the car. The car shakes as he

pouches in the wind shield. He grabs Trinity by the neck.

Gypsy: "Me question" - so she talks like a pirate now?

Alina: Arrgh, matey! I s'ppose so.


Alina: Protect the princess from Ganondorf!

Kaiyu: And the black suite wasn't so bad. I mean, it has a nice minibar, queen sized bed...

She pulls out a bomb from her leather jacket and puts it down the mans shirt. After that she takes

a gun that was lying on the passenger seat and shots him about 15 times in the chest, he falls off the car then I can feel the car bounce and we run him

over. I look back at him lying on the street and as a van tries to break so not to hit him, it does and the man and the van explode into flames.

Alina: Wow, Trinity keeps a lot of bombs underneath her coat. It's a bottomless pit down there!

Gypsy: Implants!

Alina: Implants?!

Gypsy: Who the hell counts how many times you shoot someone?

Alina: People with no life.

Gypsy: If he's lying in the street, shot, what's the bomb for?

Alina: For the EXPLOSIONS.

Kaiyu: Overkill much?

Alina: Overkill is an understatement, methinks.
(Trinity) Oh no! Being attacked by random man! MAXIMUM FIREPOWER!

She stops and the car then tells me to get out, I do and she does as well and she pulls me into a phone booth and she tells me to pick up the

already ringing phone. I ask her “what is this about” she looks at me as if im stupid. “Just pick of the phone and you will find all the answers.” she tells

me. “NO, I GET IT NOW” I tell her. “What?” she asks.

Alina: Take your pick of the phones, yes. One of them has an implanted case of C-4. Wired and ready to go.

Kaiyu: You know, "What?" was the only sentence spelled correctly.

Gypsy: This phone will tell you everything. How to cook a 4 course meal, all about the Matrix...

“no we are just some crazy fan who wants to rape me or something” I tell her “stop this now” Right them mom pulls up next to the phone booth, and yells “OH

Hilary thank god your ok, I run from the booth to my mom’s car and she starts to drive away right when I jump im. I look back at Trinity and she is gone. The

car is still there. I notice that the phone is danging from the hook.

Alina: *falls over laughing* The very notion that they would want to RAPE her....I don't know why, but it's hilarious.

Kaiyu: We are just some crazy fan! 8D 8D You have no chance to survive make your time! 8D

Alina: (Hilary) Like, Where are my Britney-Spears style bodyguards?

Kaiyu: That was a long sentence her mom said. Is she still talking?

Alina: No clue. Do I care? Hell no.

Kaiyu: This is going downhill fast. Like, downhill into the eight circle fast.

Alina: We're almost done. Just breathe.

When mom and I arrive back at the hotel I tell her the hole story, which she thinks is

really hard to believe anyway. After about 4 hours of talking we go to sleep, I have a long day tomorrow, they are starting the final seen of Cheaper by the

Dozen tomorrow. The night goes fast, I didn’t get much sleep since my neck was stiff

Alina: Lalalalaala....pointless crap....i have a can of tunafish....

Kaiyu: (Hilary) Like, and then, Courtney Love had horrible lipstick!

Gypsy: Four hours of talking about some dumb thing that could have taken what, 5 minutes, and we could all care less about?

Alina: Her mother is super-powerful. No wonder Hilary obsesses over her. And Tom Welling.

Gypsy: She can sleep through Hilary's whining...

Kaiyu: I know there's gonna be some mom/daughter rape scene.

Alina: And then some bad Smith/Neo slash? XD.

I then get out and head to the main room. I go to room 005 and see that there is no one there, the

driver has left so im stuck, I pick up my cell phone but before I can dial I see someone at the end of the hall way that room 005 is on.

Gypsy: 005! Ooh the symbolism!

Alina: The number five means....5 FINGERS!

I its Tom Welling,

the hot guy from Smallville. Wait, some thing is wrong, guys I have never seen before are attacking him.

Alina: I can see the bottom of the page! Yay!

Gypsy: Tom just pops out of nowhere?

Kaiyu: You've never seen TOM before either, you know T_T

Alina: Popping Tom...brought to you by Sue Productions.

Kaiyu: Make it stop. Now. I mean it.

Gypsy: Crap guys, I gotta go.

Alina: Awww...Before I forget to ask, what grade do you give our crapfic?

Gypsy: Even worse than bonfire. INFERNO!!! Or a nuclear explosion!

*Gypsy disappears in a puff of magic smoke*

Alina: Want to finish?

Kaiyu: Sure.

He throws each and everyone of them though walls and

set some on fire, it is almost he has all his powers from the show in real life. I sees then with in a half a second he is next to me. He traveled the length

of the 100 foot hall way in seconds. He looks as me and says “Hilary”. “Yes Tom?’ I ask him. He then looks at me, and starts to smile. “what?” I ask him.

Alina: Just when you think it can't get any worse....they start confusing realities. In a movie series about reality, this is BAD.

Kaiyu: *Cries*

Alina: *gives Kaiyu a weapon to kill the fic with*

Kaiyu: Let's end this. And this time... It's IMPERSONAL.

Alina: *hl* Interestingly enough, the author's a troll. he wrote the fic so that ppl would flame them and then he could flame back. He accuses them of having no life. ...Not from where I'm standing dumbfuck.

Kaiyu: You're kidding me, right?

Alina: Not at all. Check the reviews.

Kaiyu: *sob*

“Nice bod, but shaved is not the way to go” he smiles. “What!?” I yell. He then grabs me and within seconds we are in the middle of the street right outside

of the studio. “Tom did you kill everyone inside?” “Yes I did” he says proudly. “And now its your turn” he adds. I try to start running away but he is right

in front of me, then behind me, he’s moving so fast I cant see him. He then laughs and rips open his shirt. There is a diamond symbol burned into his chest

with an “S” on it. “I will now fofill my destiny.” He then grabs me buy the hair and starts to fly, we touch down on a building top, that is about 30 storys

up, he then holds me out, and says “I am Kallel, the third son, he then lets me fall “TOM” I yell as I fall.

Alina: ...I'm skipping to the end. Basically, it's TomPerson vs. Neo.


Alina: Last line:

Tom starts to laugh. I look on about 5

feet away, as Neo and Tom square off, I wonder who will win, but I cant get over how hot Neo is.

Kaiyu: ...............

Alina: Now then. BONFIRE! Trolls suck!

Kaiyu: Bonfire. I'm going to go curl into a ball and cry now.

Alina: The END. Because chapter three is just an author's note. *hugs Kaiyu* I'm sorry for subjecting you to this.

Kaiyu: It's okei. ;.;

Alina: If you want, you can express your anger using the "report abuse" button. I've been doing that in hopes that the fic will be removed. if it gets a certain number of complaints, it's deleted automatically.

Part One - Back