Bonus

Get your sing-along voice together, kids! It's a summary to the tune of "Modern Major General!"

*cue music*

"Big" news - Birdie's the 'Catalyst'
Or so Farore says to Smith
It is a fact that is soon missed
As Ganon throws a hissyfit
But fear not, for this bird's a twink
Some powergaming's all she needs
His ass is kicked
By the summon-chick
And Smith just keeps on acting thick

Oh yea - she's got two Triforce shards
And Ganon's got the other one
And inside Hyrule's medical wards
Are ICUs and IVs by the ton
Saved by discmans and lip gloss Di
Looks like she won't ever be outdone
Things get progressively worse from here
As Morpheus gets to join the fun!

Things get progressively worse from here
As Morpheus gets to join the fun!
Things get progressively worse from here
As Morpheus gets to join the fun!
Things get progressively worse from here
As Morpheus gets to join in on all the fun!

Birdie talks to Smith at Hylia
About how she's an all-around shaman
This all seems more important than
The Squiddies attacking Death Mountain
Smith gets sick and starts to hallucinate
About Diana's future martyrdom
Which clearly is not going to be her fate
It's just supposed to make him glum!

Smith gets sick and starts to hallucinate
About Diana's future martyrdom
Which clearly is not going to be her fate
It's just supposed to make him glum!

After a topless digression
The duo go to Kakariko
To render into their possession
The Wind Waker that we all know
It doesn't go too well of course
A songfic's the only course of action
But fear not! Di's saved by some force
As she pulls a Daniel Jackson!

But fear not! She's saved by some force
As she pulls a Daniel Jackson!
She's self-deified without remorse
Yet rendered unholy by her ascension!

After being consecrated to
Some non Hylian superpowers
And after saving a temple through
Calling monsters for several hours
Smith and DI angst and finally kiss
In time for their newest mission
To infiltrate the much-loved Matrix
For some unknown and inexplicable reason

Inside the Matrix DI gets to live it rich
While Smith 'researches' love and sex
Some Frenchman wants DI as his bitch
And clichés dictate what comes next
Prior to leaving for the Chateau
Smith resolves, along with Birds
That the only way to defeat their foe
Is simple: Get Smith to deflower her!

That the only way to defeat their foe
Is simple: Get Smith to deflower her!
That the only way to defeat their foe
Is simple: Get Smith to deflower her!
That the only way to defeat their foe
Is simple: Get Smith to deflower-ower her!

The 'Merovigian' still slobbers
Over her like a giant rabid dog
DI beats the Twins up in the dress they got her
And then she and Smith begin to snog
Whisked back to Hyrule as a husk
With her powers all but spent
She is really fine, except her lust
For Smith has gotten her pregnant!

Whisked back to Hyrule as a husk
With her powers all but spent
She is really fine, except her lust
For Smith has gotten her pregnant!

The final battle finally arrives
Smith wins it with his Triforce shard
It ditched Ganon, maybe in Chapter Five
(Following this plot is really hard!)
Diana's made holy and beautiful
In order to shut up Nayru
DI and Smith go live in the Matrix
Until the sequel of their fanfics!

Diana's made holy and beautiful
In order to shut up Nayru
DI and Smith go live in the Matrix
Until the sequel of their fanfics!

...There's a sequel to the fanfic?!

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